Hidden Within

7 | fades to nothing

"Hadley?"

I glance over at Bianca, startled. "Yeah?"

She eyes me suspiciously, almond-shaped brown eyes narrowed as if she thinks something is wrong. "That's the fourth time I've said your name, Hads."

"Sorry," I mumble without looking at her. "I guess I spaced."

Bianca doesn't comment on this. Instead, she sighs, leaning back against the bleachers behind us. "It's weird not having Grace and Delaney with us," she murmurs. I know she's referencing the fact that this is our first year not having the same gym period as Grace and Delaney. I don't tell her that I'm secretly grateful for this fact; that if I never saw Delaney again it'd be too soon.

"Yeah," I agree, lying.

"Don't tell them I said this," Bianca says, leaning closer to me as if she's afraid someone might overhear her, "but it's kind of nice, too. I mean, you and I don't hang out as much any more, you know? I've missed you, Hads."

"I've missed you too, B," I admit, finding that I mean the words.

Bianca offers me a smile that has me smiling, too. I don't smile nearly as much as I did before. Not since the summer. After . . . everything.

I tilt my head up towards the sky, bathing in the sunlight that beams down on me as I inhale a deep breath of the fresh outdoor air. It's still summer, which means gym will no doubt be outside for the first few weeks of the semester. Today is an easy day, as the school year just started. It's sort of a free day in gym, where the students can choose to do as we please while the coaches flirt with each other. I don't mind sitting here on the bleachers with Bianca. It's nice.

"So," Bianca says, "how was your summer?"

I bristle, stiffening at the question. It's not exactly like I can tell her the truth, so instead I force a smile and mutter, "Okay. How was yours?"

"It was great," Bianca says, practically beaming as she describes her summer in Spain. I have to admit that I stop listening somewhere along the way, tuning Bianca out and instead paying attention to the wind blowing my hair over my shoulders and the sunlight basking down on me.

As Bianca rambles on, I notice a soccer ball rolling towards me. I extend a leg to stop the ball from going any further by blocking it with my foot as a girl runs up to me, following after it. I notice her pulling away from the group she'd been with across the field, part of the crowd caught up in what appears to be a pretty heated game of soccer.

She stops before me, no doubt here to collect the ball. I study her for a moment as she approaches. Her dark brown hair is gathered in a ponytail that blows around behind her shoulders. Her brown eyes are warm and bright as the light hits them, and I can't help feeling somewhat captivated by her. When her gaze meets mine, everything around me fades to nothing.

"Hey," she says, offering a polite smile. "You mind if I grab that?" The girl gestures to the ball beneath my foot. I glance down, almost having forgotten about the ball entirely.

"Uh, yeah," I stutter, kicking it to her softly.

"Thanks." She nods at me, gaze drifting to Bianca before quickly settling on mine once again. I expect her to run off then, but she lingers for a moment. I wonder if she's sticking around for the same reason I can't seem to take my eyes off of her.

I'm not supposed to be feeling the things I'm feeling at the sight of this girl now. That's what the summer was for. That's why I was sent away. That's why I had to undergo the therapy and the treatments. They were supposed to help. To take away my "unnatural" feelings. To make me normal. I guess a part of me had hoped it all had worked.

But, staring into the dark-haired girl's eyes now as I feel my pulse begin to pick up and butterflies dance around in the pit of my stomach, I realize what I've always known deep down. Being sent away, the therapy, the treatments . . . They hadn't done shit.

"You wanna join us?" the girl asks, nodding her head in the direction of the game going on down the field where her friends are waiting for her to return. I'm sure the question is directed to me and Bianca both, but she only looks at me as she says the words.

"That's okay," I decline after a brief moment of silence, as it seems I had forgotten how to speak for a moment. "We wouldn't want to intrude, or anything."

"The more the merrier," the girl counters, giving me a half-smile that leaves my heart pounding even harder in my chest.

"I'm not much of a soccer player," I say finally, shooting the offer down once again.

"Really? You look like you could be. With those legs and all." The girl's dark eyes trail me from head to toe, lingering on my legs she's just pointed out. I stiffen for a moment, feeling an overwhelming sense of déjà vu, taken back to a time where I spent days with Sloane, wondering if her cryptic statements were supposed to be flirty or not.

"I'm not as graceful as I look," I respond after a moment, cracking a small smile of my own. "I mean, I could join. If you'd be willing to help walk me to the nurse's office when I somehow end up with a bloody nose or broken bone, that is."

She grins at me, lighting a fire within my soul that I haven't felt burn in a while. One I haven't felt since Sloane.

"Funny," she muses, ignoring the cries of her friends in the background telling her to bring the ball back already. "It's Hadley, right?"

For a moment, I'm surprised the girl knows my name. I mean, I clearly don't know hers. Then I remember that I've been friends with Delaney Woods since elementary school, and she's not exactly someone who goes unnoticed. I guess that means the same for me, considering I've been her shadow for years. However, I always thought that I'd been hidden in her shadow. I never knew the spotlight shone on me as well.

"Right," I confirm, hesitating for a moment. I don't want to outright ask for the girl's name in fear that it might be rude to point out I have no idea who she is.

She seems to hear my unspoken question all the same. The girl gives a self-deprecating smile as she says, "I'm Devon."

There's a moment of stillness after her name leaves her lips where we merely seem to stare at each other, holding one another's gazes, not wanting to be the first to look away. Then the cries of her friends become much too loud to ignore, and I'm suddenly all too aware of Bianca's presence next to me.

Devon must feel the same, because she clears her throat before saying, "Well, I guess I should get back to the game. It was nice talking to you, Hadley." With one last smile, she runs off to join her friends. I watch her as she goes, realizing I didn't have the chance to tell her it'd been nice to talk to her, too.

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a/n: i got the job!! i was so nervous for that interview bc it had been my first ever, but it didn't turn out so bad. and i miss my girlfriend. but what's new? 😂