"I want to give you all the love you deserve."
___
Hadley Carter has struggled with her sexuality ever since childhood. She keeps her feelings hidden out of fear of judgement and not being accepted by oth...
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
As the minutes pass, conversation between the five of us soon morphs into a drinking game created by Kai. It's similar to truth or dare, except it consists mostly of extreme truths. Choosing not to answer a question results in having to drink. Needless to say, I end up taking lots of shots.
I'm sufficiently drunk before too long, as well as having the time of my life. My thigh keeps accidentally touching Devon's as we sit next to each other on the couch. When this first happened, Devon apologized and respectfully shifted away. However, the more we drink it seems the leg-touching becomes much more intentional on Devon's behalf. This realization stirs a feeling within me that I haven't felt in a while. I'm easing into Devon's side before I know it, absorbing her warmth and drowning in the need I feel for more of her touch.
"Okay, Hadley." Mason's words slur a little as she addresses me. "Most embarrassing thing you've ever done. Go."
I'm plastered enough to admit, "I posted a video of me rapping on YouTube when I was like ten."
"For real?" Kai questions. He chokes on his drink when he starts laughing, causing gin to shoot out of his nose. "I gotta find this video." Kai whips out his phone, which leaves panic flaring through my chest.
"Kai, if you play that video I will literally kill you."
"You'd be doing me a favor, sweetheart," Kai retorts dismissively. "I have to see this."
I down the last of my third or fourth or maybe seventh drink. I can't remember how many shots I've taken by now, in all honesty. It feels like only seconds later the all too familiar sound of the intro to my YouTube debut is drifting through the air. I'm forced to listen to my awful ten-year-old voice trying to rap along to Nikki Minaj lyrics. The group around me laughs as they watch the video pulled up on Kai's phone, and I sulk with my arms crossed over my chest.
"It's not that funny," I mumble, too drunk to really be upset.
"Oh, it's funny," Devon counters. She leans over my lap to watch the video, laughing way too hard.
"Hm," Kai hums once everyone has finally stopped teasing me. "Devon. Here's one: Is there someone on this couch you would kiss?"
Devon hesitates for a moment before shaking her head and raising her cup to her lips, choosing not to answer the question.
"Damn," Kai says. "I was expecting the answer to be no. But now I'm curious."
"Poor you," Devon retorts. Changing the subject, she says, "Mason, list your exes. Alphabetically."
Mason eagerly drinks. "No way in hell. We'd be sitting here all night."
The rest of us laugh while Mason takes Kai's flask and tilts her head back. "What?" she whines. "That's what happens when you play for both teams!"
Kai's flask runs out, so he goes to the kitchen to refill it. Mason says something about going to the bathroom, taking Clover with her. Devon and I are left alone, sitting way too close after having to accommodate five people onto one couch. I scoot away from her slightly, trying not to be too obvious about it yet worried that if we're too close she'll somehow be able to read my mind and know that I can't stop thinking about how good it felt to be so close to her.
