Hidden Within

23 | wishing for

"I like this one," Grace says as she holds a pale blue top up to her chest.

"Really?" Delaney wrinkles her nose. "Don't you think that color just doesn't . . . suit you?"

Grace's expression crumples. I watch as she slowly returns the shirt to the rack before her. I roll my eyes at Delaney's insensitivity, biting my tongue as she smirks and begins shifting through the rack next to her, adding to the pile of clothes already strewn over her arm.

Earlier in the day, Delaney had declared us girls needed to head to the mall to pick out new wardrobes for the school year. Of course, whatever Delaney says we all obey. Basically, my friends and I are following Delaney around to the stores she likes and wasting our precious free time. I stand a few feet away from Grace and Delaney on my phone as they shift through clothing racks. Bianca has wandered off to the other side of the store.

"I'm gonna go try these on," Delaney states as she sashays up to me. "Come on, Hadley."

Wordlessly, Delaney dumps the clothes she'd been holding into my arms, knocking my phone out of my hands. I glare at her back as she makes her way over to the dressing rooms, bending over to grab my phone. I make eye contact with Grace as I straighten back up, noticing the warning look she sends my way.

I drop a few of the items Delaney passed off to me back onto various racks before I follow after her to the changing rooms, waiting outside of the door as Delaney enters a stall. I pass her clothes over the door as she changes, watching as a giant pile grows on the floor by Delaney's feet consisting of the clothes she doesn't approve of.

"What happened to that yellow suede skirt I handed you?" Delaney questions through the door.

"I don't know," I feign innocence. "I'm handing you everything you gave me."

"Whatever." Delaney huffs. "I didn't like it anyway. It was sort of ugly. Maybe you should go find it, Hads. It would totally suit you."

"Thanks," I mutter through gritted teeth, "but I'm not a big fan of skirts."

"I noticed," Delaney retorts. "You know, maybe if you actually put a little effort into your appearance boys would notice you. Then you wouldn't have to go messing around with girls all the time."

My heart stops. My blood turns to ice as it runs through my veins. I open my mouth to respond to Delaney's comment, though the door to her dressing room whips open before I have the chance. I notice that she isn't holding a single item of clothing she had tried on, merely leaving them in the stall for some employee to pick up later on.

"This store blows," Delaney complains as she pushes past me. "Let's go somewhere else."

"What about all of these?" I gesture to the pile of clothes I'm still holding.

"Just put them back," Delaney says dismissively. "I'm going to find Bianca."

I'm steaming as she walks away, wondering how someone can possibly be so self-absorbed. I question how I ever became friends with Delaney Woods in the first place, wishing she didn't have dirt on me so I could leave her in my past and move on.

I return Delaney's clothes to their racks, joining the rest of the girls as they exit the store. We walk around the mall, passing multiple stores while Delaney tells a story about a guy who wanted her number, or something. I tune her voice out, eyeing the different venues I pass.

A group in a store across the mall catches my eye as I try my best to keep up with the three girls in front of me. I study the clan, trying to figure out why they have grabbed my attention. Upon closer examination, I recognize the foursome immediately. I spot Kai, Mason, Clover, and Devon. The girls are laughing as Kai speaks animatedly with his hands, seemingly trying not to laugh himself. I hesitate to continue walking as an ache of longing passes through my chest. I find myself wishing I was a part of whatever they're doing now, recalling how much fun I'd had with Devon and her friends at the party last week.

My gaze soon focuses specifically on Devon. I watch as her laughter fades to a simple grin. She turns to glance over her shoulder, her brown eyes suddenly meeting mine. I can tell she has spotted me by the way her posture stiffens, expression falling slack. Our stares lock for a moment. I wonder if she wishes I was there too. I wonder if she wants to be standing next to me as badly as I wish I was by her side now. I long to be able to call her mine, to have her hand in mine whenever I please, to shoot her one of those smiles I have reserved specifically for whenever I'm around Devon Parker, to feel her lips against mine whenever I have the urge to kiss her.

"Hadley?" Delaney calls my name in a snippy tone, clearly aggravated. "Are you coming, or not?"

I hold Devon's gaze for a beat longer before I turn to face Delaney, joining my old group. Pain flares through my chest with every step I take away from the freedom and happiness that is only a few hundred feet away from me.

Even after turning my back on Devon, I can't help glancing over my shoulder just to see if she is looking back at me. I'm surprised when our stares connect once again. Maybe she is wishing for all of the things I am myself.

___

a/n: "our lives begin to end the day we become silent about things that matter." - Martin Luther King Jr.
this is by far one of my favorite quotes from this extraordinary man, though he definitely has numerous quotes that stick with me daily. however, this quote stands out to me because of the heavy truth behind the words. who are we if we don't stand up for the things we believe in? what is our purpose if we stay silent when issues arise? especially in this day and age, in a world that has so many issues that desperately need to be addressed. it saddens me to see my country the most divided it has been in ages. regardless, happy Martin Luther King Jr. day. he will forever be a legacy, and was a beyond remarkable human being. i still remember listening to his "I Have a Dream" speech way back in elementary school and how genuinely moving i found it. i wish we lived in a world today that would make him proud, though unfortunately discrimination based on race is still extremely prominent in society. black lives matter, y'all. the color of a person's skin does not determine their heart or character—nor is that anything a person can control, though it is something that should be embraced. i would love to see today's society love one another. anyway, i'm sorry this author's note got so long. peace! :) (yes ik this is going up at midnight so technically it's the next day but i started working on this around 11 so...😂🤦‍♀️)