Hidden Within

17 | darkness

"Hi, sweetie," Mom greets as I enter the house and walk through the kitchen. "Did you have fun last night? Delaney called and said you girls slept over at her house after the party. That sounded like—"

I don't respond to or acknowledge my mother as I pass by her. I just keep walking, exiting the room and approaching the staircase, climbing them two at a time. I hear my mother calling after me, though I ignore her. Entering my bedroom, I close the door behind me and crash onto my bed.

Grabbing my pillow, I shove my face into its comfort and release a pent-up scream. When the tears begin to form, I do nothing to stop them from falling. I merely sit up and lean against the wall, clutching the pillow to my chest as my tears shed. I cry as I think back to the summer and all of the torture that came along with it. I cry for myself and for what I had to go through. I cry over Sloane because I never got to tell her goodbye. My tears come faster as I think about my parents and how easily they were able to send me away. I recall everything they put me through in an attempt to "change" me because they couldn't accept me for who I am.

My tears morph into sobs as I realize that this summer didn't help, it did nothing to erase the feelings I had before—the feelings I still have. And I have no idea what to do about this. My body racks as rage courses through my veins at the thought of Delaney, blaming everything that has happened on her. She did this to me. And now she has me right under her thumb. All she has to do is press down to ruin me for good.

My mind soon wanders to Devon, which leaves my tears streaming faster as I remember what it felt like to kiss her and how much I had enjoyed doing so. I know it's wrong to think such thoughts and to feel romantically for her, which turns my sadness into guilt. I cry over how much I like Devon and because I know that I can never be with her. I crumple as I recall the look on Devon's face this morning when I left her house so abruptly; the way she had begged me not to leave; how I have most definitely ruined things with her for good.

I break down until I no longer have any tears left to shed, my pain soon morphing to numbness. My eyes start to feel heavy and my body aches. So I lay down, resting my head down on the pillow as I succumb to the darkness overtaking my eyelids.

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a/n: i wanted to share some pictures of me and my girl bc she's so cute. 🥺 feel free to follow me on instagram if y'all wanna see more. ;) thank you for reading! 🥰