Secrets I have held in my heart (part 1)

Chapter 33: Hermione and Ron

'y/n, lets go, I can't handle this right now' 

Hermione had flushed cheeks and she was dragging me down to lunch. She had just had another argument with Ron. It was again over Crookshanks and it ended with Ron reproaching Hermione about the confiscation of the Firebolt.

'Hermione stop' 

I stood my ground while she walked a bit further but she eventually came to a halt,

'what do you want, Edwards?' she lashed out

I looked at her with contempt but then I regained the pity I felt for her, it wasn't her fault that she felt this way. Ron was making her life impossible and her best friends, her first friends at Hogwarts had decided to cast her out of their lives. Deep down, I knew she wasn't intending to be rude but it felt unfair that she was taking it out on me too.

'look, I can't imagine how you're feeling but you need to give yourself a break. For fucks sake Granger, you're killing yourself with studying all night long and don't even get me started with Ron'

She stared at me but when she tried to speak, her voice was choked by a sob. Her eyes were overflown with tears and she had had to take a seat. At first I was slightly startled, she was always so strong, I had rarely seen her cry but I snapped back and crouched down to her level, gently rubbing her back and trying to sooth her with reassuring words. 

'hey, Granger, look at me'

She hesitantly looked up and wiped away her tears. She didn't say a word but I knew she was listening to me.

'lets grab lunch and head somewhere else, have a small picnic in our room, okay?'

She nodded and we walked towards the Great Hall. She looked down most of the time, ashamed to be seen crying so I told her I'd go in and get the food myself. I dashed into the hall, grabbed some sandwiches and pudding which I hid in napkins.

'okay I'm back, I got some food but I have more sweets upstairs'

We finally got back, I put the food on the bedside table and helped Hermione wash her face and clean up. We were completely silent but in a way, there was a mutual understanding that we all had days like this.

We sat down on my bed and I sprawled a napkin and put the food on it.

'want to talk or just put some music and eat until class starts?'

'I think I need to talk' she said shyly

'sure, let it out Granger, you can scream, punch a pillow or even tear some of my potions books'

She laughed at this and while we ate, she vented about how stressed out she was,

'I just don't understand why they can't see that I care about them' she cried 'I hate to see Harry hurt and I hate it even more when Ron blames me for everything, he doesn't care about my feelings at all'

I was trying to think of something to say. I wasn't as close to Harry and Ron as I was with Hermione but one thing I knew for sure was that there was something different in the way that Hermione and Ron talked to each other, compared to Harry and Hermione. I said the only thing that I knew wouldn't make a mess out of the situation

'When I was distant with George, I was feeling powerless, I wanted to tell him how I felt because I didn't want to miss my chance but was waiting for him to make the move. I never did it, I had to wait for him to prove to me that he cared'

'how does that-?'

'Hold on Granger, I'm not finished. What I'm trying to say is that you did the right thing because you care, you love Harry and believe it or not, you love Ron too. They are your friends and even if they are being childish right now, it's not your fault you acted with your heart. It shows how brave you really are. I was a coward for not speaking my mind but you, you did what had to be done and if they don't want to accept it, then that's on them, not on you'

Hermione took it in. She had dropped her sandwich and was now drawing a small smile on her face

'maybe you're right, Edwards' she sniffled 'but it's not fair'

'I know it's not but they'll come to their senses' I reassured her 'if they don't, I'll make sure they do, whether they like it or not'

She laughed again and even if she was still a bit upset, she managed to make it through her afternoon lessons.

'Granger' I called her name out before leaving for practice, she was sitting with her usual pile of homework

She looked up and I made my way through to her

'are you feeling better?, I didn't see you during dinner'

'I'm fine, I wasn't hungry so I came up to the common room to get some work done'

'Hermione, you need to eat, I don't care if you're not hungry' I told her 

She sighed but I still kissed her goodbye as well as giving her a crushing hug which she tried to fend off but accepted in the end.

'love you Granger and if you're tired, go to bed' I reminded her

'okay Edwards, now go to practice or Oliver will have you doing drills until dawn'

I got up and ran to the Quidditch pitch, Hermione was right, I was late to practice which would mean that I would have to train for a longer time than the rest. And unsurprisingly I was right, everyone had already headed back to the changing rooms while I was still doing balance and strength exercises. By the time I was done, even Oliver had already gotten back to the changing room and was ready to leave.

'next time don't be late Edwards' Oliver advised me 'but good job, you're definitely getting stronger' 

'thanks Oliver, I'll try to be on time next time' I replied as flatly as possible, these were the comments that were annoying but strangely uplifting.

I wanted to tell him that I had been helping Hermione out but I knew his response would be that if it had nothing to do with Quidditch, then he didn't care.

Before I got back to the common room, I passed by the kitchens and asked for some extra food to take up to Hermione. I managed to get some roasted chicken and pudding and promised to return the plate, to which the kitchen elves felt sincerely offended as they claimed it was their job to clean up. I shook my head at this and thought they were nonsensical, I mean who would so willingly clean up other people's mess? Anyways I got to the common room and saw Hermione was packing her things up.

'Granger, you're not going anywhere' I commanded 'I got you a plate of food and you're not going to bed until you eat it'

She tried to protest that she wasn't hungry but as soon as I put the plate before her, she engulfed it.

'thank you y/n, I really mean it, thank you for being there for me'

She went to give me a hug but I told her I was drenched in sweat so she just kissed my cheek

'come on, lets get you to bed' 

 I helped her with her books, got showered and slipped into my own bed

'Edwards' she said in a hushed voice

'what's up?'

'can I sleep with you tonight?'

'of course you can, come over here' I said, lifting the bed sheet and letting her in. She snuggled up close and I brushed her hair back until I could hear her deep breaths that signalled she was already fast asleep.