Secrets I have held in my heart (part 1)

Chapter 23: The downright fool

A/N: love is futile and y'all will have to wait for the cute moment. Sorry for the wait.

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*y/n POV*

I wasn't really in a rush despite my intrigue to find out what the hell was going on. Why was everyone being so secretive and weird? Even if George was going to be there, I wasn't sure if I could face him. Especially after I ruined everything at breakfast and at Hogsmeade.

Once I got off the last step, my stomach began to churn from the nervousness. What was I even going to say? How would I even justify myself? I hated the uncertainty that awaited. Nevertheless, I knew better than to turn around and not face whatever was waiting for me outside.

I walked a bit faster in the halls and reached the soft snowy floor that covered the school's main patio. Some students brushed past me that were returning from their visit, Olivia being one of them. She looked at me up and down, and whispered something to her friends who began laughing. I didn't let it bother me though, if Olivia wasn't with George, it definitely meant something had happened between them as she would never let go of George, especially in front of me.

The closer I came to my meeting point, I felt more discouraged. No one was there waiting. Had Hermione played some sick prank? I knew she would never but what if she had? My head began racing with thoughts, making me look down at my shoes.

'Edwards' called a voice, I recognised that voice. It was warm compared to the winter weather and it could only belong to one person, George.

I quickly looked up, feeling somewhat relieved by the fact that it hadn't been a joke but the relief was washed away by panic. What would happen next?

'wait' he panted, it seemed he had run up the hill. His cheeks were flushed and he was breathing heavily.

'George' I responded 'I-' 

I didn't even know what to say. In my silence he came closer, 

'wait' he repeated, swallowing hard, still breathing hard from running 

'Edwards, I need to talk to you, please don't go'

'what is it?' I insisted, why wouldn't he just spit it out?

He opened his mouth to speak but he quickly closed it, looking behind me and began to scowl. I looked behind as well, wondering what was stopping him from speaking. 

And there she had to be. It was Olivia, she was sprinting at this point to where we were standing. She pushed me aside, even if I complained, she completely ignored me.

'Georgie' she was crying 'I know you didn't mean what you said'

George was startled, he looked at her, completely forgetting I was standing there. I was starting to get impatient and honestly, insulted by the fact that Olivia had the nerve to show up. Again.

'please, take me back' she began pleading, her voice almost unrecognisable from her sobs 'I love you Georgie, and I know you do too'

George still wasn't saying anything. Then out of the blue, Olivia tackled him down with a hug, making them both fall on the snowy floor even if I was still standing there, looking like a complete fool. As I expected, Olivia kissed him.

At the sight of this, I quickly turned around in a mix of anger and embarrassment and ran back inside, getting no comfort from the silence of George.

I didn't want to know if George kissed her back, I didn't want to know what George even wanted to say. I was a complete and utter idiot for even have come down. I What was I even expecting? An apology? No. It was too late for that. 

I hated Olivia but I hated George even more.

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*GEORGE'S POV*

I ran up the hill, knowing that y/n wasn't anywhere in Hogsmeade and hopefully, Fred had convinced her to meet me up in the hill.

And there she was. She was looking down at her shoes until I called her name. She looked up with a look of relief that quickly turned into panic. Had I done something wrong? Was she not ready to forgive me?

I approached closer as she didn't move from where she was standing. I told her to wait, I was still out of breath from running around. However, what I wanted to say was cut short from Olivia's figure sprinting towards me from a distance.

 Shit, she was going to ruin the perfect moment. Edwards looked back until she was pushed to the side by Olivia.

I was now face to face to her. She was pleading and crying for me to take her back. Then she said she loved me. I was shook to the core. What was I supposed to say when I wasn't in love? Well, not with her anyways. 

Before allowing me to react, she attacked me with a hug which threw me to the ground, and once again she was kissing me. I immediately pushed her aside in revolt, wanting to see y/n but she was gone. No where to be seen.

'What do you even think you are doing, Olivia?' I yelled at her 'I told you to leave me alone, I don't love you and you don't love me'

'Georgie' she said slowly 

'don't call me Georgie, Olivia' 

'fine. George. Next time you want to break up with me, you'll have to do it on my terms' she said in contempt

'what does that even mean?' I said outraged. All that I wanted was to see Edwards. I wanted her so badly. 

'You know what? I don't care' I finally stated 'just leave me alone. We're over. Get that into your thick skull' 

I stood up and ran towards the castle. Attempting to find Edwards before she did anything she would regret.

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*y/n POV*

I was back in the common room, it was crowded which was good. I didn't want to be attacked with questions from Fred or Hermione, considering they were sitting on the couches, talking to their respective friends.

I sneaked up to my room, grabbed my Walkman and sneaked back down, leaving the common room as if I had been a ghost.

I felt tears streaming down my face. I was so tired of being the fool in every situation, of being the focal point of humiliation. I put in my ear phones to drown out the conversations from around the castle. Before I could play the music, I heard my name being called from somewhere in the bottom floor. I knew it was George and he was the last person I wanted to see, in fact, I didn't want see him at all, ever.

I ran up even further. To wherever my legs would carry me, the only place I knew they would guide me was the Astronomy tower. However, it was already occupied by other students who seemed unfazed about my sudden appearance.

I turned back again, I needed somewhere quiet, somewhere without people. The only place I could think of was the Quidditch pitch, I knew it would be empty, especially today since it was a day off for everyone. 

I walked to the centre of the pitch. I laid on my back. Allowing the snow to shape itself around my body, even if I was freezing to the bone, at least it made me feel something other than disgrace. 

The Sun had started to set and I finally stood up. I was so cold my body had turned numb but what mostly hurt, deep down, even if I hated to admit it was that I wish George had showed up.

 I skipped dinner, knowing I would have to see him and went into the empty common room. The large body of students had allowed me to sneak my way through without being noticed.

Inside, the silence felt deafening. I could only hear the occasional crackling of the fire, I sat right before it, trying to return heat into my body. When I heard the first bunch of the students enter the common room I slipped back to my room. I felt so ashamed. I didn't know someone could fuck up these many times.