Memories of Rain ❀ Calum Hood

fifth; shoelaces

After Calum left, Bailey started going through her journal. Her and Calum must've been really close, because he was all she ever wrote about. Calum did this, me and Calum did that. It was actually pretty cute. But mostly she wrote poetry.

you've got that sparkle
in your eyes

i'm tempted by the stars
in the sky
to love
you.

She didn't know the poem, sho she had to guess that she had written it herself. It was most likely about Calum, everything in this journal was about him. She probably used to love him a lot. But that was gone now, right?

She put away the journal, and went throught the clothes that Hannah had brought her.

It was mostly grey and white clothes, and Hannah had only picked out casual stuff. She was in a hospital after all. She put on a pair of grey sweats, and found a hoodie that was way too big to be hers. It smelled like detergent, sweat and rain. She put it on, thinking that it probably belonged to Calum.

There was a pair of black converse in the bag too. She put them on, but she still couldn't remember how to tie them. How was it again? She would have to get the nurse to show her sometime.

They had called it post-traumatic amnesia. They said that they were very surprised by how little it affected her, normally she wouldn't even be able to store new memories, but Bailey remembered everything that had happened since she woke up.

She decided to get up, and do something. She wanted to walk around the hospital a bit, maybe they would let her outside. She missed the fresh air, the smell of grass and the spring rain.

She walked the empty halls for a while. The floor and ceiling was just as white and clean as in her room and the walls had the same color of a winter sky, completely covered in clouds.

There was a door labled 'patient lounge,' so she decided to check it out. She didn't feel any need to talk to people, but she was curious. What kind of hospital was this?

There was barely anyone in the lounge. An elderly man was lying on a couch, staring into the space, and a pregnant woman was staring out the window.

A little girl was sitting in a chair by the door. She was wearing an orange dress, and she smiled at Bailey when she walked in. She didn't have any hair.

Bailey took a wild guess, and labeled her as a cancer patient. The thought cut itself into her heart. She was too young.

"Hey there," the girl said, her smile growing when Bailey waved at her. "I'm Lily," she told her. Bailey nodded, "Bailey," she said. Bailey couldn't stop staring at her. She had huge brown eyes, and her skin had the same sickly yellow glow as everyone else in hospital. Did she look like that, too?

A short blonde wig was resting in her lap, and she had a brush in her hand, Bailey raised her eyebrows at it. Lily laughed. "I feel like I'm too young to wear a wig," she confessed. Bailey nodded slowly. She didn't even need hair to look cute, those huge brown eyes were enough to make Bailey's heart melt into a big, warm puddle.

She asked the girl how old she was, because she didn't look a day over seven. "I'm fourteen," Lily told her with a shy smile. Bailey was kind of shocked. She was tiny. Thin legs, thin arms, not much taller than 150 cm, and childish features. "I have acute lymphoblastic leukemia," she told her.
"Cancer," she explained. Bailey bit down on her lip. Okay, she thought. I hope you make it, she thought.

Lily looked her up and down. Then she laughed. "Why didn't you tie your shoes," she asked. "It looks ridiculous."

Bailey shrugged. She stood in front of Lily, suddenly feeling embarrassed. Who didn't remember how to tie their shoes? The answer was her, Bailey. Bailey didn't remember how to tie her shoes. "I was hit by a car," she said. "I don't remember how to tie my shoes, or brush my teeth, or even wash my hair."

Lily frowned. She got up, and knelt in front of Bailey. She smiled up at the older girl, and started tying Bailey's shoes. It looked rather complicated, and she found it incredible that the girl did it so easily. Was she some sort of child shoelace-prodigy? "It's really easy, actually," she told her with a smile, and sat back down on the chair.

She gestured for Bailey to sit down next to her. After a long, awkward silence Lily told her about her cancer.
She had lived with it for almost two years, and she was in no way getting better. "I probably don't have a long time left."

The girl didn't even flinch, she just smiled at Bailey. It felt heartbreaking to her, but for Lily it was just a fact. She had probably realized it a long time ago. Or maybe she was just trying to hide it.

The saddest kind of sad, is the sad that tries to pretend like it's not sad. You know, the sad that just laughs, telling people how they're fine. "I'm not sad at all," the sad would say with a smile, but inside, the grief would crush them, driving them insane.

Bailey knew that she had felt like that once. It probably had something to do with the death of her mother. She didn't exactly seem like the person who just flashed their grief to everyone. She understood Lily in that way.

"I'm sorry," Bailey said, and she meant it. "It's fine," Lily told her. But it wasn't, was it? Then she asked Bailey about her memory loss. She told her that she only had two memories, one of a boy, and one of the accident she was involved in.

She was in a coma for more than three weeks, and she woke up without a single memory of her old life. It made her sad, she told the girl. It made her feel bad that everyone she used to know, wouldn't get to see their old Bailey.

"Tell me about the boy," Lily said, grinning at her. Bailey laughed, and she told her about Calum. She didn't know if she loved him. She didn't even know what love was, but she used to be with him a lot before the accident, apparently. "I feel sorry that I took away his girlfriend."

"Do you have feelings for him?"

"I don't know."

"Find out then."

Bailey nodded. If only it was that easy. "If you love him, be with him, if you don't, then don't be with him," Lily said. "It's as easy as that." But it wasn't, was it? It definitely wasn't easy, in any way. Not to her at least, but it was probably something else for the fourteen-year old cancer patient.

"You've been given a second chance so use it." Lily smiled at her, a sad, sorrowful smile. "You never know what memories it is that you're trying to forget."

(A/N): Oh Lord, I'm really sorry that this chapter is so bad! I didn't really know what i was writing so I kinda just... :i

Thank you for reading, by the way. :)) I would appreciate it if you checked out my other fanfiction too, it's called Strings and it has both a bit of Calum and Michael in it, although it is, or was, originally a Michael fic. ^^

Enjoyyyyyyyyyy. :)