Touch Starved

I don't think I miss him...

You and Draco had been up all night, talking about life and how things went down after the BOH.

He told you about losing his house and his dad being locked away. You told him about losing your dad to cancer, and university.

"It's called the Child Soldier complex." you told him after he asked about your focus of study and why you would pick that. "It's when the child feels responsible for the lives of their parents. That their whole life rests on them. Dying or killing for their family because it had been engraved into them by their parents or outside sources". Draco was silent, he didn't know he could hear someone talk about him so clearly.

You'd both fallen asleep in the early hours of the morning. You'd only woken up because of the sound of your owl coming to the window with today's mail and the newspaper. You smiled at her as she fluttered away. You faced away from Draco, but he was close behind you. His long arm wrapped around you. Holding you with such a grip you wondered if he was awake. You peaked back at him, no he definitely wasn't awake. You knew healing took a lot of sleep, and you didnt want to wake him. So you just accepted how you lay. You had to admit it felt nice, your skin seemed to cling onto each other. You had to admit you enjoyed where you lay, the smell of his skin invaded every inch of you. No wonder all those girls were falling over him in school, he was kind of stunning.

It was only about an hour later when he woke up, you had managed to reach a book you had sitting on the nightstand and were just reading when he woke up. He backed away quickly, flushed red.

"I am sorry, I..." he started, unsure of how to explain himself.

"It's ok. It was nice, I think I needed it as much as you did" you had to admit it, because you really did. He nodded, still embarrassed with himself. He can't even think of the last time he held someone like that. His body raced, urging him to pull back towards you. "It's called being touch starved" you shrug.

"Touch starved?" He asked. "Yeah, the muggles have done research on it. The human body craves touch, longing for affection of any kind. It's actually just human nature." Muggle science was something you'd really enjoyed recently, while they tried most of the time to explain something that was really just magic, somethings they said about the brain rang so true to you.

He nodded slowly, he had to admit that even in those short hours you slept next to one another, it was the deepest he'd slept in so long. You set your worn out copy of Fantastic beasts on your nightstand. Sitting up you ran your fingers loosely through your hair.

"Let me find you something to wear" he was still wearing his dress pants, his shirt falling away through the night as it was splattered with blood. You came back to your room with a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie, not something you'd ever seen him wear before. But it was really the only think you had that would fit him, that wasn't your dad's stuff. He smiled as you handed them to him. A black hoodie with your college logo on it, and dark gray sweatpants. New, but soft and inviting. You helped him walk to the bathroom that you had in your room. He is still weak from the day before, it was probably going to be this way for a while. You changed hastily in your room as he did. He walked out as you pulled your top down over you, he watched you silently for a moment as you brushed your hair with a comb. You turned to him once you saw him in the mirror behind you. It was odd seeing him in something so casual, but he wore it as elegantly as you imagined. You wore a pair of shorts, deep green with a Slytherin brand t-shirt.

You still wore a lot of your school memorabilia. It reminded you of some easier days.

"Thank you" he smiled, the soft clothing softly held him together.

"You should sit back down, you're still healing" you walked back over to him. Helping him back to the bed. He laid back, his back again to the headboard. "Breakfast? How do you like your eggs?" you had spent nearly a year caring for your father before he passed, so you were able to slide right back into the caregiver position. It made you ache a little, your heart was sad, but it also gave you drive. You'd always considered yourself an empathic and healing person, so this just felt right.

"Scrambled?" he asked more than informed you. He still wasn't used to someone taking care of him in this way, but maybe he could get used to it.

You came back in the room, he held a picture frame in his hand. The very one you kept on your nightstand.

"This is your dad?" he asked, pointing at the man in the photo. It was, it was the year before he died, at your birthday party. He was beaming as you opened his gift, a new broom. "You have his smile" Draco continued, setting down the photo back at its home.

"Thank you" you set the plate down in front of him. "I am not much of a cook, but I can make some mean eggs"

"I am sure they are amazing" he picked up the plate, you handed him a fork. He took a large bite of the eggs "And they are, thank you" You both sat in silence, eating your food. you had emptied your plate before he spoke, chewing on a piece of toast.

"You miss him?" he asked finally, looking back at the photo.

"More than anything" you nod, chewing your last bite of food and swallowing it. "We were all we had" your mother had left when you were a baby. Your dad raised you all on his own, and he did a really good job.

"I am sorry." he was staring at you now, "I don't think I miss my dad" while Lucius Malfoy wasn't yet dead, he was at Azkaban so he might as well be, according to Draco.

"You don't have to miss people" you look back at him "I stopped missing my mom a long time ago". He nodded, something in him must feel guilt for feeling like this, but hearing you agree with him made him feel a little bit better.

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You sat together there most of the day, just enjoying being around one another. You made him try yet another muggle restaurant for dinner. He started to admit these nasty muggles could definitely cook. The sun was dipping behind the horizon before you realized the time.

"Well I have better let you sleep" you stood, figuring you'd sleep on the couch seeing as you didn;t get a chance to get the spare room ready. It was your dads room and honestly the idea of moving anything made you feel a little sick. You started walking away but he grabbed your hand.

"Please stay" you turned to look at him, he wasn't looking at you. But at your hand as he held it.

You didn't protest with him, his face was stern, almost demanding, but also longing. You nodded at him, sitting back in the bed. You both pulled the covers over you, laying on your backs staring at the ceiling again. Were you really laying in bed with Draco Malfoy?

He reached out his hand to you, you intertwined your fingers into his. Yes you definitely were.