Touch Starved

To be saved yet

"Hey Harry" you rang them the next morning. "Any chance you could help Draco and I with something again?"

"Another crazy woman threatening you?" He laughed.

"Nope, not this time but I will keep you updated! We were actually hoping you could maybe help us pull some memories for Draco like Dumbledor did in your book?"

"I mean I can see what I can do. I haven't actually pulled myself so I would have to ask around how to do it. What's going on?" He asked

"Draco has been having some really bad nightmares but he can't seem to remember anything when he wakes up. So we haven't been able to figure them out to help him through it."

"I will ask around, I will write Minerva and see if maybe she cash help you both" You haven't seen Professor Mcgonigal in so long, and Draco even longer. So Harry's words made you a little nervous.

"Thank you Harry. We owe you... again" you sighed at the last words. They have done so much for you already, but you really weren't sure where to go otherwise.

"Hey don't worry, really, you're my friends" he was probably just as sick of you apologizing as you were of Draco doing it. "Hey, Molly wanted me to confirm you were both still coming to Christmas?"

Christmas was only a week away. And honestly you had nearly forgotten about Weasley's invitation.

"Absolutely. If she'll still have us!" You felt a rush of excitement roll over you.

"You know she will" you could hear Harry smile "see you there. Weasley house, 9am. Prepare to spend the night, because Molly may never let you leave" he laughed.

"We can definitely do that. Goodbye Harry"

"Good bye y/n" you hung up the phone.

"So what did he say?" Draco walked into the room

"He said he would contact McGonagall and see if she knows how Dumbledore did it. Because while he saw it happen Harry is unsure how" you explained to him.

"That makes sense. Maybe I'll remember before then... who knows" he shrugs. You knew it worried him, but you were both trying really hard to just enjoy this life you had together, without too much worrying clouding your mind. stopped.

"And he reminded me about Christmas at the Weasleys, you still want to go right?" You hadn't even thought to ask him.

"Of course I do. Two great Christmases in a row?" He chucked. "How did I get so lucky?" You smiled thinking of your last Christmas together. It seemed weirdly an eternity ago. So much has happened since then.

"Pretty lucky" you winked at him, your eyes catching the black book in his hand. It was one of the few things that had been left in your car from the house. One of the only things you had left, a diary.

"Where'd you get that?" You asked, your heart fell into your stomach.

"I brought it in from the car... I was looking through it" he flipped open the book in his hand.

"Draco..." you spoke

"Dear Diary," he smiled at you "today in divinations Neville kept staring at me. I miss him, but I don't even know how to talk to him after what he told me...." he read softly.

"Draco...." You whispered as he thumbed through the few pages, you couldn't stop your heart from racing.

"Dear Diary, today I snuck a little fire whiskey from the kitchen" he laughed a little.

"Stop..." you spoke, but it was too late. He had flipped to the furthest back of the book. His eyes skimming the page

"Dear diary, today is the day... I'm sorry Elenore..." . He looked up at you, his words stopped as he realized what he was reading. "I... I'm sorry.. I didn't" he closed the book. You bit your lip hard, trying not to cry.

"Can we please not talk about it?" You knew you couldn't hold back tears if he kept talking. He just nodded. You walked past him, avoiding all eye contact. You walked to your room, closing the door shut behind you. You had hit that diary for that reason, you couldn't bring yourself to throw it out, but the thought of Eleanor reading it made you sick. So you had never brought it inside when you got home that last year of school. You felt yourself getting a little mad at Draco, he had never invaded your privacy like this. Then again you never really kept much from him, and you had forgotten you even had that in there.

You were sitting alone thinking for a while before Draco knocked on the door.

"Y/n?" He asked without opening the door.

"You can come in..." you sat with your legs crossed in the middle of the bed. He opened the door slowly, catching your eyes as he walked in.

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize it was... that. I just thought it would be cute stuff to remember" he handed you the diary.

"It's okay.. you were just the only person to ever see it..."

"I had no right to do that...." You took the book into your hand as he spoke. "I am so sorry"

You patted the bed beside you. He crawled onto the bed next to you.

"I was in a bad place. You know that." You sighed. "I am really embarrassed about it all now"

"Don't be. You saw me at the tower that night. I was there for the same thing..." he reached his hand out to you, laying it on your knee.

"I wish I would have talked to you that night. Maybe we could have helped each other"

"I don't think I would have let you...." He watched his hand. "I wasn't ready to be saved yet.."