The Earth and Ice Goddess

Making Amends

Lucy POV

It had been a couple of months of Gray and I dating each other. Probably up to almost three months of us dating. It's not as bad as I thought it would be. Who knew that a one night stand could get you into a relationship with your childhood friend.

 I was out in the meadow having alone time. I'm stressed out with Master Makarov trying to convince me to do S-Class or be a Wizard Saint. I just don't understand why he won't leave me alone about this type of stuff. I don't want to have that much responsibility on my back. Then you have to deal with the council 24/7 which I'm not in the mood for. 

I don't know why he can't give it to someone like Erza. She is a perfect fit for the job because she's mentality strong, professional, and loyal to the people she would put her life down for. Me on the other hand I'm too much of a wimp in some situations. I know I get the job done, but I don't have a high go get it attitude. To simplify it I'm the opposite of Natsu. 

I don't have anger or motivation like him or the others. I don't even have them hero moments when the person snaps and goes into beast mode. Never took a fight that seriously. The last time I took a fight serious was against the Earth and Nature King. He was hurting my friends so I had to teach him a lesson, but really the last time I took something very serious to heart was going against my mom and the other angels. Just thinking about brings back painful memories of what she used to do to me.

I felt a tear slide down my cheek as I quickly wiped it off. "Just forget about her Lucy she is gone," I said to myself with my eyes closed. "Who's gone?" I heard a soft voice I was frightened by. I jumped a little from my spot on the grass and looked to see it was Erza. "Oh it's just you Erza," I said a bit relieved.

"Yeah it's me, I'm returning from a mission," she told me as I wasn't surprised. "Welcome back!" I said a bit nonchalant. "Thanks but what are you doing out here?" she curiously asked me. "I'm trying to have time to myself; I'm a bit stressed out right now," I told her. "About what if you don't mind me asking?" she sat down on the ground. "Makarov, the council, Gray, magic, and you," she was taken back when I said it was her. 

"Why are you stressed out with me?" she calmly asked. "I rather not say, you might get offended when I ask," I warned. "I rather hear your reason for stressing you out," she grumbled. "Ok I'll let you hear it, but before I start, why do you hate me so much?" I asked her. "Pardon me?" she was once again taken back. "Why do you hate me so much? You always have a problem with me doing something and ever since day one of me walking into the guild you always had it out for me," I confronted her. 

"Lucy I never hated you," she lied. "Erza just admit you most likely didn't have a liking for me. It was obvious throughout the years; like that time you and Mirajane left me behind on a mission, you got upset with me during the Grand Magic Games, you slapped me because I didn't want to do the S-Class trials, you was still upset with me when I gave you the title of the strongest woman in Fairy Tail making you Titania and yet you still hate on me, why is that?" I asked crossing my arms while glaring at her.

"You wanna know why I despise you so much, Lucy?" "Yeah, I wanna know," I said as the tension between us was getting thick. "The reason I despise you so much is because when you walked into the guild you looked exactly like me, you had a messed up eye, you came far away from damage, and you had strength. Everybody there already started to compare the both of us, you just didn't notice. I always worked hard to become who people look up to and can depend on when in danger, but instead, they looked up to you. I always asked the question why, why would they depend on somebody who has no care in the world to get better and see more in themselves than what others see? All Master does is try to get you to join S-Class, the council, etc. He never offers the other wizards who work hard to get better positions like that. I don't think Guildarts was offered anything like that. Just my question for you is why don't you work hard for anything, why don't you see that you have the potential to be something greater?" she asked as tears started to fall from her eyes.

"You want to know the real reason I don't like working hard?" I asked her as she waited for me to answer. "The reason I don't want to work hard is because of my mother. That woman made every single day of my life with her like living hell. The world might have seen her as an angel, but I saw her as the Devil. If I didn't do something correctly I would get punished. She's the reason why my left eye is the way it is now. Every teacher I had treated me better than her, but even after she was dead all I could see was just her. I felt like if she saw me right now she would be disappointed," I explained to Erza. 

"I never knew this, but did you always wanted to impress your mother?" she asked. "I thought I didn't, but secretly I did, she was the only person who would be unimpressed with my skills. I only told Ur about this and she suggested I go to therapy," I said looking down at the ground while holding my legs tucked in close to me. 

"Did you go to therapy?" she asked with concern. "Yeah, I went to therapy and the therapist asked me 'If I could bring back one person from the dead who would I bring back?' I lied a couple of times until I told her my mother. She asked 'Why your mother, you seem you don't have the best relationship with her?' she asked me. I responded that I always wanted to be like my mom because she was the strongest woman I knew and she wanted me to live up to her expectations and be like her. I wasn't going to satisfy her with becoming like her so I don't tend to go forth with doing things Master Makarov offers me," I explained. 

"What would you say to her if you saw her again?" Erza asked a bit curious. "I would say I love you...and fuck you bitch because you made every single day of my childhood a living hell. It's sad that a person who birthed me can't treat me with love like others do and they didn't even carry me for 9 months. I know you're disappointed with me because I didn't meet your standards, but from now on I won't spend my time trying to be strong like you I would spend my time to see the strength in myself and become better," I exclaimed. 

"Why don't you keep going?" she suggested. "I would but what about the guild, what if they get into danger and some of us aren't there to help them out?" I asked fearing something might possibly happen. "Don't worry the guild will be safe," she said as I smiled. "So do we now have an understanding of each other and instead of being enemies we can be friends? How can we be a prime example if we can't show others how to get along?" I asked putting my hand out there for her to shake. She seemed hesitant at first until she shook hands with me. And that was the day Erza and I finally became friends and to an understanding of each other.

Thank you for reading!