Complicated (Thorin Oakenshield x Reader) [Slow Updates]

Chapter Five

(Y/N) shifts uncomfortably in the relatively large bag that she's being held in.

After she'd been caught and the Dwarves had laid down their arms, the Trolls had put some of them in bags, and tied the others to a spit over their fire. Some of the Dwarves around her are also struggling with their bags, trying to loosen the strings holding the bags in place, or attempting to somehow cut the fabric with their bare hands, but it does no good. They're all stuck.

(Y/N) sighs.

I know that this happening is to my advantage, and that I could just shape-change, claw apart my bag, and leave. Then my mission would be complete, (Y/N) thinks, looking up at the stars speckling the night sky. Although, they were willing to be captured for the sake of me, someone they met only a few days ago. No, just leaving them won't work. But if I can't leave them here, then I shouldn't skin-change either; it could come in handy to have that secret for later, when I inevitably still have to go through with the assassination.

She makes up her mind; instead of forcing her way free from the troll's clutches, she'll have to trick them.

Shouldn't be too hard, she thinks, glancing at the idiotic creatures as they're arguing about how to serve their meal of Dwarf and Assass-I-mean-person.

"Don’t bother cooking ’em! Let’s just sit on ’em and squash ’em into jelly!" the skinny troll says, giving the company an ugly look. (Y/N) shudders at the thought of dying in the way the troll had described.

"They should be sauteed and grilled with a sprinkle of sage," Bert says.

"Oh, that does sound quite nice," the skinny one says.

"Never mind the seasoning, we ain’t got all night! Dawn ain’t far away, let’s get a move on! I don’t fancy being turned to stone," the congested one says, giving (Y/N) the perfect inspiration for a scheme.

"Are you sure you don't want to take care in your seasoning choice?" she asks, catching the trolls' attention. The one called Bert narrows his eyes.

"What's the problem with the seasoning?" he asks, seeming mildly interested.

"Well, don't you think you may need something a bit stronger than sage? I mean, they haven't bathed in days, and it wouldn't surprise me if it's been much longer," (Y/N) says. The Dwarves all send glares her way while grumbling under their breath, but she ignores them.

"What would you know about cooking Dwarf?" he growls.

"Shut up, and let the…uh, assass-I-mean-person talk," Bert says. (Y/N) suppresses her smile, knowing she had the troll, hook line and sinker, until she notices the others giving her odd looks at what the troll had called her.

I'll have to come up with a story for that later, she thinks, a little preoccupied with tricking the troll at the moment to come up with more lies to stow at the back of her mind.

"Um, well, I can only assume they wouldn't taste too good as they already are," she says, "but for reference, I can list a few herbs that'll likely cover up the flavor." Bert nods, gesturing for her to go on. She's about to list a few random herbs and maybe sneak a poisonous plant or two in there, until the congested troll interrupts.

"That's a load of rubbish! I've eaten plenty without a caking of seasoning."

"He’s right! Nothing wrong with a bit o’ raw dwarf," the skinny troll says, lifting up Gloin in his sack and dangling him above his agape mouth.

"Nice and crunchy!"

"Um no, you shouldn't eat that one!" (Y/N) shouts. The congested troll snorts.

"Why shouldn't he?"

She gets distracted for a moment, noticing a small bit of light peeking over the horizon, and the movement of a silhouette off to her left, before thinking of her answer.

"He's got stomach parasites!" she exclaims. The skinny troll throws Gloin back onto the pile of Dwarves in disgust.

"In fact, every last one of us has those nasty buggers, and it's quite the ordeal. I wouldn't risk it, you'll be dead in a week!" she says, making stuff up as she goes.

"Parasites? Did she say parasites?" Oin questions, obviously taking offense to this.

"Yeah, we don't have parasites, you have parasites!" Kili says, and all of the Dwarves soon are shouting.

Do these fools have to make this as difficult as possible? (Y/N) thinks, almost surprised at the stupidity they're showing.

The only one who isn't objecting is Thorin, who unlike the others actually realizes what her plan is. After a few seconds of the Dwarves' protestive shouting, Oakenshield kicks Kili hard through the sack he's being held in.

All of the Dwarves stop shouting and look at Thorin, before finally understanding the plan. Soon, instead of shouts of protest, everyone is arguing over who has larger amounts and size of parasites.

"I’ve got parasites as big as my arm!"

"Mine are the biggest parasites, I’ve got huge parasites!"

"We're riddled!"

"Yes, I'm riddled!"

"Yes we are, badly!"

The congested troll glares at her.

"What would you have us do then? Let ’em all go?" (Y/N) shifts around.

"Come to think of it, that'd be the best course of action..."

"You think I don’t know what you’re up to. This little squirrel is taking us for fools!" the congested troll shouts to his fellow trolls. (Y/N) furrows her eyebrows.

"Squirrel?" she says, irritated to be hearing yet another crack about her size, while also noticing the light that is steadily growing.

"Fools?" the troll named Bert questions, not sounding pleased. Suddenly, the silhouette she'd seen before emerges, standing on top of a giant rock that's blocking the light.

"The dawn will take you all!" the silhouette shouts. (Y/N) recognizes the voice as Gandalf, and lets out a sigh of both relief and frustration. This wizard really doesn't want to leave well enough alone, does he?

"Who’s that?" the congested troll asks the others, as if they'd know.

"No idea," Bert replies.

"Can we eat him too?" the skinnier troll asks the others.

Suddenly, Gandalf brings his staff down on the center of the rock, splitting it in two and causing one side to slide away, revealing the rising sun.

The trolls all three shriek in terror, their skin beginning to form into solid rock. Before long, they have turned into full stone statues.

All of the Dwarves cheer, and (Y/N) smiles grimly.

Now that I've returned the favor, I can get back to my mission. Though something tells me that this won't be anywhere near as easy as I originally thought.