𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐫 ; 𝖼𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗄𝗂 ✓

11

p: peony for the bashful wish of acceptance
𑁍

"so, can you tell me what happens now? i can't stand seeing him like this any longer." kihyun asked the responsible doctor for any news about changkyun's condition. all he wanted was for the younger to finally wake up.

"mr. yoo, right?" he continued after getting a nod in response. "i'm sorry to say this, but mr. im's condition hasn't improved since last night. surely, his body has recovered from the shock and we could successfully stable his vitals, but still. it's one of the rarest cases we get here, but i can assure that this too, is a case of the hanahaki disease. do you happen to know what it is?" kihyun's body froze hearing the name, because just now it hit him. he sure knows what it is. now, that he has regained his memory, of course he also remembers the time he himself was suffering from this very same illness. suddenly it all came to him. he hasn't thought of it yet, being too busy worrying about changkyun, but it finally hit him that all those dreams weren't just dreams. it was actually happening, right? how was this possible? kihyun had no idea, but it was. changkyun was suffering all this time and he didn't help. what could he have done? for so long he didn't even know who the boy in his dreams was in the fist place. but now, knowing that the younger has endured all this pain all these nights, it got a bit too much to process. kihyun did remember all the details appearing in his dreams, especially these beautiful yet such broken smiles changkyun gave him although he was suffering such pain. once again the scene of changkyun climbing over the railing played in his head, that very moment, seeing him do it over and over again- that was when kihyun noticed his knees getting weaker as he felt hot tears forming in his eyes as he thought back to every single time he saw him walking down this road. crying, coughing and in so much pain. kihyun knew how bad it must've been, he literally witnessed it. and not only that, but way back, when kihyun himself was suffering the same illness, as soon as he got worse he had the surgery, but now? changkyun has endured the pain so much longer than him and he let it come to this. he couldn't believe it. he now knew the reason, he now understood why he was on that bridge, why he must've felt so miserable to go this far. why he decided on this.

and all kihyun could ever do was watch.

"it can't be..." kihyun mumbled to himself, his voice small and his disbelief growing. it was audible enough for the man standing in front of him to hear though.

"excuse me?" the doctor said, not really knowing how to respond else how.

"it can't be." kihyun repeated, now his voice a lot more expressive than before.

"look, i don't know what's on your mind right now, but if i can help you, you have to tell me. for now, to get back to mr. im, if you have heard about the disease, you surely know the two only ways of recovery. if his enamoured is not capable of loving him back, he has to get the surgery. the time is running out, so if nothing happens soon, we will lose him. i can't reach any relatives of his, but you seem to know him very well, so you might also know how he can be saved. if not by tomorrow, we will have to perform surgery since we can't just let him die. you do carry a bit of responsibility now, so please, if you can, find a better way. find the way that'll be best for him. you don't have much time left. if you don't need anything else, i'll be going now. i have another patient. you know how to call us if something happens?" the doctor explained while kihyun quietly listened. then he nodded again and that was when the doctor left.

"it's- it's me.. i'm his enamoured." kihyun whispered to himself, slumping down onto a chair to his right. it was quite late and the hallway was silent. and once again, his memories came flooding his mind, but this time he couldn't hold himself back. he took his head into his hands and started crying. all this time changkyun's been suffering, he just watched.
about half an hour passed like this while kihyun kept crying silently. he couldn't seem to stop. for now he needed to calm down and recollect himself to find a way to help changkyun. he had to make him realize that his love was not one-sided anymore and for that, the younger had to wake up.
assuming that he was going to stay in the hospital for a while now, he decided to go and get something to drink in order to somehow try to keep up with his selfcare. he got up and headed down the hallway with the intention to find wherever he could get something to drink. walking down these hallways, he hated it. especially because it was so late. he always thought that hospitals at night were so much more creepier than during the daytime anyways. the deafening silence in the huge building gave him some weird vibes. it was just like when he was in a similar situation years back, after his so called "accident". thinking back to the story his parents had told him all these years, he felt so much anger build up inside of him. they lied to him his whole life about something this important and honestly, they didn't seem to care shit about what had happened. kihyun knew that there was a reason for coming up with it, because hell, he himself agreed on getting the surgery so that was not it. but he was so angry at how his parents never even seemed to bother that their son's best friend and beloved one was literally being erased from his life. all those years, they never showed any sign of regret or guilt while telling the story about them having the accident, knowing that it was all just some made up lie and that, that he couldn't understand. kihyun was pissed and he was sure to talk to them about it as soon as changkyun was safe again, for now that didn't matter.
however, back then in the hospital he woke up in the middle of the night as a result of a dream he had, that felt way too real. he doesn't remember what the dream was about exactly, but kihyun did know that after waking up that night, he felt strange. it wasn't a nightmare, but it wasn't a happy dream either. that night, he went out in the halls also looking for something to drink, or rather he hoped to find a nurse that could get him something. thing is that after waking up from that very dream, he didn't feel good and he desperately wished for the comfort of someone he knew he didn't have and somehow, he felt just like that right now. now though, it was a bit different, since he knew that he actually did have someone just like that. only this person was laying unconscious in one of these rooms, suffering and not even aware of that if he simply woke up, he could be okay again. he worried so much about changkyun and all he wanted was for him to wake up, so that he was able to tell him that his pain would finally end. he kept walking, passing by the younger's room but at this moment kihyun was a bit too caught up in his head, that he didn't even look into the room as he walked past the window next to the door.
the brown haired snapped out of his thoughts as he arrived at the end of the hallway, facing a table set with unopened water bottles, tons of cups, a coffee machine and some snacks, where patients and visitors could come and take whatever they needed. he sighed, headed towards the table and after getting some sort of chocolate bar and a cup of coffe, he'd go back to the room and wait for changkyun to wake up.

to this time though, kihyun didn't know that he was desperately needed somewhere else.