When the morning comes

38 | city of love

Thoughts had betrayed my feelings. Endlessly, they had, throughout the whole night, wondered what Salomé had been doing at that exact moment. I wondered if she slept, if she was trying to contact me, wondered if she just let everything be and let me go that way.

I wondered if she thought of me. Missed me, like my feelings told me I missed her, even if I couldn't understand why. I was exhausted by my own mind, pulling me back and forth between the two of them. Trying to figure out what to do. Trying to figure out why I'd done the things I did. Trying to figure out my true feelings, and not the impulsive, irrational ones. Or hadn't they been not thought through?

Taking a deep breath, I blinked my tired eyes, my free hand playing with Benjamin's hair. The other arm occupied as his head rested onto it as he slept. The room was still dark, but slowly, the sun was rising. I listened to Benjamin's soft, sleeping breathing. Watched his chest rise and fall. It was soothing, took my mind off things. I enjoyed being here with just him.

We were out of the situation at home. Didn't know if it was right or not, but the time off together felt needed to me. I could focus on him only. Given if my mind would allow me to. Which, until this point, it hadn't fully.

Wrapping my other arm around him too, I pulled him close to my body, kissed his earlobe and dozed off.

When I awoke for the second time, the sun had risen fully. Benjamin was still asleep, making me sigh. I carefully removed my arms from him, tucked him back in and made my way over to the kitchen. Opening the fridge, a small smile made its way onto my face when I saw how stuffed it was, Mamma Giulia having taken care of it.

The freezer offered me fresh cornetti dough. I swallowed down memories, took the dough out of its cling film, I warmed up the oven and made myself a cappuccino. Once the cornetti's were in the oven, I got dressed and freshened up. I opened the door of the lake house, smelled the freshness of the water in front of me. I stared. Far distance. Didn't see him. I mourned thinking of Oprapa.

Then the blossom tree. I bid her a good morning.

Freshly baked with the timer going off, I left the door open and prepared a nice plate for Benjamin in bed. Cornetti's. Milk. Some fruits. He was just waking up when I entered the room. With his arms resting above his head, he sleepily looked at me. He let out a big yawn, sat up with disheveled hair. "Buongiorno, Papà." He said, voice hoarse from sleep.

"Morning, chap. Avete dormito bene?"

He narrowed his eyes. Nodded. "What do you have there?"

I sat down onto the bed. It dipped by my weight. "Your breakfast."

Benjamin took the plate from me, observed it for a while. "Fresh cornetti's?" He took a large bite, licking his lips.

"Hey, don't forget your prayer." I nudged his cheek with my finger. "You'll get stomach ache, otherwise."

He chuckled. Closed his eyes. A brief moment of silence later, he gave me a questionable look. "They taste like Mamma's cornetti's.."

"Nonna made them."

Benjamin continued eating. "What are we going to do today?"

"Well, I thought I'd take you somewhere today.."

"The city of love?" Benjamin scrunched up his nose. "Utterly disgusting!"

"You'll fall in love with it."

"How could I possibly do that?" Benjamin stayed close to me, his eyes raking over the other tourists who were busy pushing their ways through each other, bumping against me and him several times. The streets were packed, I forgot how much of a big deal this place was. "Oh, can I have one of those bracelets?" He gazed at a man sitting on the sidewalk, displaying tons of different bracelets.