DEPRESSION | vmin

fifteen

𝙥.𝙟𝙢 𝙥𝙤𝙫

shit! we lost him, I lost him.
I shouldn't have came on him like that, I should have been more careful. I knew jeong was planning something, but why didn't I prevented it from happening?

"THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!" jeong shouts in my face as he starts walking back and forth, breathing heavily looking very frustrated and upset.

"HOW IS THIS MY FAULT?!" I grab him by his collar of his shirt, I was ready to punch the shit out of him. "YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST LEFT AND NOT ASKED TAE TO TALK WITH YOU!" jeong pushes me harshly out of my grip, after some minutes pass by.

Jeong soon starts to calm down as the tension eases up a bit, he sighs saying "we aren't gonna find tae if we keep on fighting" I agree with him, I hated working with him but I'm only helping so that I can find my taetae.

we walk over to the bridge calling for tae, this was all my fault I shouldn't have done that... I sigh loudly feeling stressed out. me and jeong walk through the bridge until I stepped over on something, I look and see that it was a bracelet but not anybody's bracelet . . .

taes bracelet.

𝙠.𝙩𝙝 𝙥𝙤𝙫

I wake up stretching out of bed I look around and seeing that I'm not in my house, then it all clicked yoongi saved me yesterday. I smell a sweet scent coming from the kitchen, he must be up already.

I get up and out of bed making my way downstairs to the kitchen, this house was huge so it took me a while to even find the right kitchen, I finally find him and see him making breakfast.

I made my way up towards him quietly and place my hands on his shoulders, sadly I had to use my tippy toes to even reach his shoulders. He jumps looking at me, "oh it's just you! you scared me anyways, I made you breakfast! some pancakes" yoongi says placing the plate of food down at the table.

I didn't like eating that much, back then I almost never ate and when I did I always purged it out. But recently I have been eating a bit more, but now I have noticed how fat I was getting so I started to back to my old habits again.

"It looks good!" I give yoongi a smile while he passes me the syrup, he takes a seat in front of me and cuts up his pancakes into eight slices.

I gulp nervously calculating all the sugar and fat I'm gonna consume, I pass the syrup to yoongi as I finished pouring it on top of my pancake. I try to concentrate on eating these pancakes, I take a deep breath in and out trying not to make yoongi suspicious of me.

I take a small bite and chew slowly tasting all the sugar on my tongue and mouth, I felt sick even letting it touch my mouth. I try chewing faster and shallowing it, again trying not to worry yoongi.

"Mmm! There really good!" I tell yoongi digging in, I will at least try to eat half of my pancake. Soon after I ate as much as I could I excused him if I could use the bathroom, I couldn't hold it any longer I didn't want to digest it, I wanted all that sugar and fat out of my system as soon as possible.

I make my way to the bathroom making sure to lock the door, I put two fingers in my mouth. Trying to make myself gag, which worked as I started to throw up the food I have swallowed. Tears rolled down my cheek, I want to be skinny again . . .

I flush the toilet while drinking some water getting that disgusting vomit taste off of my mouth, I make my way to Yoongi placing a smile on my face. I don't want to make Yoongi worries as he already was yesterday, "Are you heading to your job?" I ask curiously seeing him struggle to put his tie on.

"Yeah I'll be back here early, I'm worried that leaving you alone won't be the best idea at the moment" the tall man said, I sigh wanting him to trust me that I can take care of myself alone. "Yoonie don't worry about me! I'm alright I promise! please trust me" I pout cutely wanting him to trust me.

He looks down at me, his frown turning into a soft smile. He cups my cheek saying "okay I trust you taetae but I'm still coming early no matter what and you can't change my mind, understood?" I nod smiling, I knew he still didn't trust me as he was coming home early.

I look into his eyes as we were really close with one another, I gulp nervously as he loses his eye contact with me and goes to the mirror. Trying to get the tie in right, "erm do you need help getting your tie?" I ask chucking a bit, how does he not know how to put a tie on? He should know how to by now since he puts a suit on every day to go to work.

I stop questioning as he says "yes please I can't get this stupid tie on and it's getting me frustrated" I make my way towards him and tie the tie on him, I can feel him stare down at me which I didn't mind.

"There! You should really learn you know what I'll teach you, but you should really get to work you will be late" I tell him quickly grabbing his keys and suitcase for him.

"Thank you taetae I'll call you when I get to work okay? Call me if anything happens" Yoongi says making his way towards the front door, "okay will do Yoongi!" I say cheerfully smiling at him before he leaves.

My smile quickly fades away as he left the house, alone yet again.

I look at my wrist missing my bracket that Jimin gave me when I first met him, I smile at the happy memory.

I wished I could erase all the bad memories and just bring all the good ones.

I sigh knowing I can't do that.