DEPRESSION | vmin

seven

𝙠.𝙩𝙝 𝙥𝙤𝙫

I wake up stretching my arms out, I was about to get up until I feel a grip off strong pair arms hugging my waist. I blush and see chimmy back hugging me, I slowly shift my other side admiring at his sleeping face.

I melt in his touch seeing that he hasn't got a shirt on which I forgot, I didn't want this moment to end I hear a notification go off and see a text message sent to chimmy on his phone, it read.

Mina💖
jimin!! I miss you so much💞 wanna grab dinner with me later today?

I frown at the message sent to jimin, so many thoughts run through my head.

who's mina?!

why did she say I miss you to chimmy?!

why does she have a heart emoji on her name?

why did she send a heart emoji to him?

why hasn't he brought her up before?

My heart breaks into a million pieces, what if this was his g-girlfriend?...

I need to go to the bathroom...

I slowly and quietly try getting out of chimmy grip but I failed as I hear chimmy waking up, "good morning taebear did you sleep well?" he says rubbing his eyes awake.

"y-yeah I did erm I'm gonna use the b-bathroom" I try holding in my tears as hard as I could "okay! I'm gonna get ready because we are gonna go some where to eat" chimmy says getting up from his bed.

I quickly go to his bathroom and close the door behind me and pull out my blade that I always have with me on all times, I pull up my sleeve up and start making my cuts.

I knew him being flirty with me was a friend thing..

I'm so fucking stupid

why would I possibly think he would be into me?

IM A PIG

IM UGLY

IM WORTHLESS

IM NOT GOOD ENOUGH

IM USELESS

JIMIN WILL NEVER LIKE ME BACK THE WAY I DO...

I drop the blade as my hands tremble with blood all over them, oh no no no I can't be doing this in his house it's risky...

"taehyung I never liked you, your a faggot I like mina not a worthless fat boy like you, your a fucking psycho cutting yourself?! LEAVE MY FUCKING HOUSE NOW! I HOPE YOUR DAD AND BROTHER BEA YOU TO DEATH SO I WONT EVER SEE YOUR UGLY FACE AGAIN!" After those hurtful words I become numb.

I start making a deep cut on my wrist, going so deep that you ca see a pool of blood coming out like water fall. I start feeling light headed but I don't care I start start doing my other wrist until..

*knock knock*

"hey taebear you okay in there?" it was chimmy "y-yup! just washing my face" I make up an excuse and notice that there was blood everywhere, and I look at my right arm and see my wrist slit.

"oh no no no... t-this is b-bad and we are s-suppose to go to eat breakfast in p-public together" I whisper to myself and going through all his cabinets and find bandages which he had thank god. I turn on the faucet and rinse my cuts and deep wrist cut, I winch in pain trying not to be to loud.

I place cotton swabs on my wrist cut and then bandage all together, I start panicking seeding the puddle of blood there was on the floor. I grab one of chimmys small towels and clean it all up and lastly using water to rinse off the blood stain on the floor.

"taebear are you sure your okay? open the door" chimmy says sounding concerned, dang it I'm taking to long I panic and throw the bloody towel in his trash bin and pull my sleeve down.

I open the door and see a very concerned chimmy "taebear you had me so worried!" he places his hands on my face caressing my cheek, my heart just skipped a beat I look into his eyes and could see a literal angel in him.

"d-don't worry chimmy im fine! do you have any clothes for me to where?" I try getting out of his brace if I stayed there for to long I would have accidentally kiss him, no I can't do that to him he has a girlfriend taehyung.

my mood suddenly changes seeing that text messages everywhere in my mind "here I chose an outfit just for you!" chimmy says handing me a shirt with no long sleeves and a pair of jeans, "erm.. do you have a hoodie?" I ask him knowing that I can't wear a non sleeve shirt.

"oh yeah here you go but I rarely see you with no sleeves why's that?" asking curiously while handing me a big hoodie I could smell his scent from the hoodie "uhhh umm well it's getting more chilly outside so I have been wearing more sleeve shirts and hoodies" I say showing a emotionless face still thinking about that text message.

chimmy bought the excuse and went over to his phone, he must be texting her back. I feel tears threaten to spill, I can't be near him... knowing that this is breaking my heart even more then it already has.

I place his hoodie and his pants he handed for me on his bed and I put my old clothes back on "chimmy I think I'm g-gonna go uhh my brother sent me a text worrying about me... im sorry" I tell him seeing him smile while texting someone, I feel my tears roll down my cheek tasting my salty tears.

"Okay then" chimmy says not acknowledging my presence, he doesn't break his eye contact on his phone. I quickly left while I could, I walked as far away from his house and fall onto my knees on the cold sidewalk I tremble feeling weak of all the blood I lost from my wrist.

I was helpless, I was broken, I was hurt, I was feeling... worthless.

worthless towards him.

towards the one I love.

that sees me as a friend.