Pinky Promise [on hold]

ten

He lunges at me.

I sit up, sweat pouring out of me.

Fuck.

I finally fell asleep and then I got this.

Tears brim my eyes.

I shake my head to get rid of them.

I throw the covers off me and swing my legs out of my bed, feeling the cold floor underneath my feet.

My heart is still not calmed down and my breaths are fast and short.

In, and out.

In, and out.

I try to picture Mason's voice because that usually helps.

But not this time.

I need a shower.

As if in a trance, I walk to the bathroom and into the shower.

I don't bother taking off Mason's shirt nor my shorts as I open the water tab.

And that's when I give in.

I crumble to the floor and hug my knees. And I cry.

The sound of the water falling down drowns out my crying.

You couldn't have stopped it.

That's bull.

You were just a kid.

But I could've.

No you couldn't have.

It was right there.

It was right there!

The bathroom door opens and then closes again. I don't want Nola to see me like this. I whip my head up. It's Charlie. She looks at me, she knows.

"C'mere babe." She opens her arms. I stand up and run into them. She wraps her arms around me and I crumble again. Like a crying piece of candy floss in the rain.

I fall to the ground and she catches me, sitting down against the wall with me on her lap, my legs crossed over hers and my knees up to my chest.

I lay the right side of my head against her chest, hearing the rhythm of her heart. She gently lays her head on top of mine, whispering sweet nothings until I'm calmed down. 

Which takes a while.

~

After dropping off Nola at the kindergarten, CC and I make our way to school.

"Are you sure you wanna go to school? We can just stay home and watch a horror movie with some ice cream." She looks at me with worry in her eyes.

"As appealing as that sounds, I think school will be a good distraction." I say with a smile that doesn't quite reach my eyes. Charlie notices but she doesn't comment on it. I park the car and step out. 

Charlie steps out and we walk towards the school building after I lock the car. "You can still change your mind, you know. Once we walk past those doors you can't." 

I laugh. "I think that you're the one that doesn't want to be here, not me. I'm not stupid, I know you." I look at her. She looks back.

"Alriiight. But I was serious too. Are you sure you're okay?" 

I grab her hand. "Yes, I'm sure." 

RIVER