the chaotic adventures of sakuatsu.

•I Don't Want You Back pt2•

-mention of angst
-mention of suicide thoughts
-mention of depression and panic attacks
-part two of I Don't want you back
-skip if too sensitive for this parts

《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》《》

It's been a long time since then and the whole team are now worried for Atsumu's being. They didn't know his address and they couldn't contact him, probably cutting connections with them.

Practices weren't normal now that their blonde setter isn't there and their wing spiker acting strange, more colder than usual. He wouldn't interact to any of them unless he was being called by their coach or a team meeting.

Sakusa had been not himself anymore, always crying himself to sleep, not taking the pain of having to move on from Atsumu. Been cold to everyone and completely shutting his heart to anyone and gathering his walls up and swearing to not let it break it again, to anyone else anymore.

He didn't like to be in pain and in this stupid heart broken-stage he was in and just kept on the positive side, thinking he will be doing his best to move on from the blonde bastard he once called his boyfriend.

On the other hand, Atsumu's really about to collapse because of everyday routine. He had the strength to go over to the convenience store to buy him some drink but didn't have the strength to get him a simple breakfast to eat.

Drinking his heart out before chuckling, before pulling his lips away from the bottle of strong alcohol. 

Sitting on the floor beside his bed, slurring his words while twirling the bottle in his hands, admiring the substance "W-Why are y-you d-doing this t-to m-me O-Omi? "

he stops after sniffling "W-Why? Am I-I n-not good e-enough for y-you? I LOVE YOU FOR FUCKS SAKE! JUST WHY?!"  

 He shouted at the end, throwing the bottle on the wall, breaking and pieces of shards flew out through the room, some managed to cut Atsumu's cheek making him wince but didn't bother the blood coming out of his cheek and just chuckles lowly, slumping his shoulder down. Not realizing, tears where now streaming down his face.

He touched his face to feel a wet substance. Ah, I'm crying again.

He looked around and saw a few shards surrounding him. He couldn't help but to grab one and thoughts where running through his head.

Worthless.

Unacceptable.

Piece of shit.

Faggot.

No one loves you.

You don't deserve anything.

Kill yourself.

He held the big piece of shard in his now trembling hands, pointing it at his chest before panting hardly, his panic attack kicking in as he couldn't breathe properly.

You shouldn't be here.

Die.

Sakusa deserves better.

You're just worst.

He couldn't help it and chest heaving up and down, breathing trembling as he yelled "ARGHHH!" He threw the shard away from him. Calming himself down as he wrapped his arms around himself, knees on his chest.

His breathe where unstable and calmed himself down, grabbing the bottle laying on his bed, he shakily got three tablets out and gulped it in one go. Soon the medicines kicks in and slowly, his eyes where dropping and before he knew it, he fell asleep, engulfing in the dark.