Shigaraki: I'll kill you Shoto Todoroki and I'll make you regret ever being born!
Shoto: I've been regretting it my entire life-
Shigaraki: *squats down next to him* man..... are you good?
Shoto: Not really bro.
-----
Genie: you have 26 wishes!
Shoto: isn't it 3-?
Genie: yeah but you got a lot going on-
-----
Uraraka: I live for money!
Deku: I live for my Dreams!
Shoto: I live for 2 reasons. 1. I was born. 2. I haven't died yet.
-----
Mic: *in the middle of a battle* Aizawa will you marry me?
Aizawa: *dodges an attack* I don't think now is the best time-
Mic: now may be the only time. I love you. I've made my choice what's yours?
Aizawa: .....
Aizawa: All Might marry us!
All Might: I'm a little busy at the moment!
-----
Shoto: Shigaraki, I knight you in the name of the father-
Dabi: nah I'm a daddy~ *finger guns*
Shigaraki: O///O
Shoto: the son-
Enji (not Endeavor): *dabs*
Shoto: and the unholy spirits.
Bakugo and Toga: *screeching*
-----
Deku: why can't dinosaurs clap?
Because their arms are too sh-
Shoto: because they're all dead
-----
Kirishima: you call it a near death experience
Kaminari: we call it a vibe check from god.
Bakugo: *eye twitching* .....
-----
Shoto: *to the tune of under the sea* PTSD!
ANXIETY!
CRIPPLING DEPRESSION! THERE IS NO QUESTION YOU SHOULD KILL ME!
LET ME BE WITH HARAMBE! I FEEL LIKE SHIT EVERYDAY!
IM ASKING NICELY! DO IT BY DROWNING!
UNDER THE SEA!
Endeavor: *concerned father noises*
Aizawa: *concerned dadzawa noises*
Bakugo: *concerned*
-----
Kirishima: don't you have any pet names? Like something your mum calls you?
Bakugo: Freak.
-----
Kirishima: goodnight!
Kaminari: goodnight. Sleep tight. Don't let the bed bugs bite. Tonight imma fight till I see the sun light. Tick tock on the clock. But the party don't st-
Bakugo: shut the FUCK up
-----
Dabi: am I a good man? No.
But do I try to be a better person every day?
Still no.
-----
Iida: how are you?
Shoto: oh, my, that's an uncomfortable topic.
-----
-at the zoo- -looking at the penguins-
Kaminari: what are they in there for?
Jirou: it isn't a prison.
Kirishima: so they can just leave then?
Momo: no but-
Bakugo: *pointing at one* I bet that one killed a guy.
