Internet Infatuation (YouTuber Fanfiction)

Chapter XXVI

Dan POV

"By the way, Dan?" Phil asks, his light voice slightly muffled by the fact that his face is buried in my neck.

"Yeah?"

"I lied, when I said I was, er, infatuated with you," he said, sounding both hesitant and insistent in saying it.

My heart fell, and my lips parted at the words. What was he saying? Was he not interested in me, after all? Was he just going along with me, afraid to hurt my feelings? It would be a Phil thing to do, to try to put off anything that could potentially hurt me. "You're not?" I ask in a low voice, almost croaking the words out.

"No, I'm not," he says slowly, causing me to swallow roughly. I was about to pull away from him when he continued,"We're the same, you and me. I..." he cleared his throat,"I'm in love with you too." He said the words nervously, but I could hear the genuine in them, too.

I let out a sigh of relief, throwing my head back into the cushions of the couch in exasperation, smiling despite myself. 'Dan? You alright there?"

"Jesus, Phil, you just scared the hell out of me!" I exclaimed, but a laugh echoed into my words, showing that I wasn't mad in the slightest. I was ecstatic. When he said he wasn't into me, in the way I thought, I felt like I was falling, free falling, with no control or view of what would happen to me. But when he said he loved me, I opened my eyes, and realized I was flying the whole time, flying above everything and everywhere and just feeling buzzed with elation and joy and charisma. (( kinda reference ))

"Well I'm sorry! What did you think I was gonna say?" he blurted, as if it were completely obvious that he was going to say he was in love with me. Maybe it should've been, because let's face it, if YouTube ships were a pizza, we'd be the cheesiest slice, no doubt about it.

I just made an analogy involving pizza. Caspar should give me an award for that one.

To Phil, though, I just shook my head, and rubbed a hand over my forehead. "I don't know." And I didn't now. Now that my brain wasn't in fear-mode - or doubt-mode, either - I realized that maybe it was stupid, to think Phil Lester wasn't in love with me, let alone interested in me at all. But I guess since that idea was the worst conclusion I could imagine to his statement - and I have a particular knack for jumping to the worst possible conclusion, might I add - that I naturally had to suspect that that was the most likely answer to whatever he would say after,"I lied when I was, er, infatuated with you.'

"Probably should've told you that a little earlier, huh?" Phil said, smiling brightly at me.

I scoffed. "Really, Phil? Are you absolutely sure you should do anything in your power not to give me a stroke?"

He slapped me playfully on the shoulder, a grin fighting it's way onto his face as he tries to keep a serious face. "I'm sorry," he said again, and I wrapped an arm around him to bring him closer to me, assuring him that I'm not upset at all. In fact, I'm kind of the opposite.

Caspar POV

I walked with Troye to the front of his room, lightly pressing my hand on his back to prod him forward in the moments when he paused, seemingly hesitating in going back to Tyler. I wasn't sure if he was entirely ready to face him, and I didn't want to rush him, but at the same time, I knew he was grateful whenever I gave him a little push. He always smiled at me gratefully, reinforcing the idea that he really did want to go through with... Whatever he was going to do.

Talking to Troye has made me consider and reconsider a lot of things. I couldn't help but notice the obvious parallels between the two of us right now, and the parallels between our different relationships. We both kept the truth from the people we love - yes, love. Not sure when then happened, but as I test the word in my head, I know it feels right - we both fell in love with the person we wanted desperately to stay friends with, and so many other similarities that would take until next Friday to get into.