Internet Infatuation (YouTuber Fanfiction)

Part XIII

Extra: I couldn't find a good video for it, but if you want, listen to Sober by P!nk while reading this ( fav fav FAV song of all time right here ) and here's a link to it on Spotify http://open.spotify.com/track/56elgHuzFP2aqqA0rUjRj1

Warning: I wrote this at midnight, so expect it to either be completely incoherent or extremely poetic. Probably both, though.

Joe POV

As soon as I kissed him, I remembered everything.

Well, I knew I remembered everything, at least. At that particular moment in time, I suppressed the memory, too lost in the sensation of kissing Caspar to really focus on anything else, and I knew that when I did reminisce in the memory of that night, I wanted to focus on nothing else, even though I already knew I had the full memory of it stored in my brain.

It's like when a cringe-worthy thing you did three years ago suddenly crosses your mind, and you try to block it out to convince yourself that it never happened, or at least to banish the very thought for the moment, because you're too busy doing anything else. But no matter what you do to try to vanquish it, it still lingers, taunting you, making its very presence evident in the back of your mind and screaming its existence right in your face.

You may wear a blind fold, but you can still see shadows.

But the kiss, God, the kiss we shared on yet another couch was so... I don't really know how to describe it. Basically, just imagine every single positive thought thrown into a blender and swished around before even pressing the start button. Multiply that times five, and you still won't even have a fraction of the euphoria I felt when I kissed Caspar Lee.

After we broke away-thank you, Dan-I just felt kind of numb. I was too overwhelmed with everything to focus on anything, even Dan's awkward attempt to fill the silence. At that point, flashes of the memory of that night broke rough my resolve, simply images and infinitely describable sensations being seen and felt and remembered awakened behind my most likely blank eyes. The touch of my hands on Caspar's neck. The sighs emanating from myself from his taste. The warm feeling that broke through my unfeeling skin.

Like I said, little things. But the littlest things can contribute to the greatest thing ever known. For instance, people are made of tiny, microscopic cells. Fifty cells can fit into the dot of an i. Yet, trillions of these tiny cells make up Caspar, and I feel like that one right there is self explanatory.

While Caspar was bidding his farewells to Dan, I had went over to Phil to say,"
So, for the stuff to edit in... I think you should keep that last bit in."

He raised an eyebrow at me to explain myself. I guess if it were anyone else, or at least anyone who had the capacity to think clearly at the moment, they wouldn't asked straight away to omit a kiss that looked like that. But, as I just pointed out, I'm not really thinking much at all right now. "I think it'd be cool to play it for, like, two or three seconds, then cut straight to the outro. It'll leave people guessing."

He looked at me skeptically, then relented. "Alright, if that's what you want, it's your call. Should I keep in the neck bit, too?"

I shook my head at that one. One big Jaspar thing is enough for this video. "Nah, you can edit that part out." I noticed Caspar looking at me expectantly to leave, so I quickly muttered,"Thanks, Phil," before hastily leaving, not quite meeting Caspar's eye.

I should probably update you on where Caspar and I am right now. Well, after a long, tension-filled walk back to our room, he excised himself to take a shower. It was pretty late at this point, long after dark, and I was just exhausted from a lot of things. A busy day of Digifest, collabing and making out with Caspar, remembering that night, and having some leftover jet lag can really tire a person out.