Internet Infatuation (YouTuber Fanfiction)

Chapter XX

http://open.spotify.com/track/2QtfTMYlxRcrt3HPXF6TrL This song is my everything rn just go fucking listen to this Casey Abrams you amazing piece of shit.

Tyler POV (( NOPE NOT A PHAN CHAPTER SORRY FUCKTARDS ))

As soon as Joe explained that Troye left because he wasn't feeling well, I made way for the door to exit back to our room.

In all honestly, on one hand, I wanted to see if Troye really wasn't feeling well; it was one of those excuses that you can't call out on unless you have something else that needed to be fixed or reconciled that went hand-in-hand with the ready-made excuse. But at the same time, it's not like Troye's killed any of his credulity in the past, so I have no reason to disbelieve him without questioning what he was thinking, after the game ended abruptly.

But I was seriously starting to question things a lot more, now.

Maybe you should've questioned it a long time ago, I thought to myself condescendingly. It still befuddles me that I only really begin to truly question where Troye stood with everything when I was tipsy, but then again, maybe I was just smart enough not to try to get my hopes up while sober.

It's never been one big thing that's really flipped the tables for us. Always smaller things, like how he brushes off the topic of us being more than us, or the way we interact more intimately than most close friends do, or even just the fact that he ran away after our first kiss on stage a couple days ago, then admitted that he regretted it 'not in the way you think' later on. But now, here we are, after playing a seemingly harmless game of Spin the Bottle-which Troye actually voted that we do, which was uncharacteristic of him in particular-and we kissed, and now, Troye has run away again.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to outright assume that he's lying about not feeling well; if he really doesn't feel up to his peak, then I want to make sure he's okay, and hopefully make him feel better. But given prior events, I can't help but have this suspicion.

Speaking of the kiss... God, why did I ever pull away?

At the time when I spun the bottle, I hadn't even considered the idea that I might end up kissing Troye. I noticed pretty early on that he pulled back from the group, and I remember clenching my jaw at the fact that he was the one that really pushed the game in the end, yet he was backing out. I mean, yeah, Connor and Joey going at it was pretty disturbing, but still. We're all going to have to kiss someone who's drunk and horny when it comes to a game like this-hell, I kissed both Marcus and Mamrie before I finally got to Troye-may as well embrace the probability, because otherwise? You're going to get fucked over. And if any of my suspicions were correct, Troye was definitely regretting going forward with the game at this point.

Anyways, the kiss between Troye and I was without a doubt the best feeling I've ever had with another person, and it was just a kiss. Albeit, we got pretty into it, pulling each other closer and moving our lips together quickly and not even sparing in the tongue department, but it was still a kiss. In a way,mot was no different from the staged one, other than the fact that this one was longer. But it was. It couldn't explain it, exactly, but it definitely was.

Maybe it was the fact that we didn't try to cover it up, or the fact that we weren't being screamed mercilessly at, or the fact that most of the others ( except Joe, apparently ) weren't even paying attention, but I didn't think that was it. I think it had more to do with the fact that Troye actually let himself go for once.

Of course, when we first kissed, we definitely deepened the kiss more than was required, but even that was more controlled and restrained. I didn't know it at the time, but after tonight, it was as clear as the Caribbean (( I speak from experience holy fuck )).