ｇｅｎｓｈｉｎ ｉｍｐａｃｔ ｏｎｅｓｈｏｔｓ

childe/tartaglia ; it's alright [songfic]

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!!Slight spoilers for Childe's backstory!!

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I had a night I had a day
I did one million stupid things
I said one billion foolish things
I'm not okay

"Childe? Is everything alright? Why did you get back so late? " Loud knocks had awoken you from your sleep, and when you opened the door, standing there was a head of messy orange hair, who was shaking slightly. 

"(Y/N)...do you think I'm a monster?" He whispered. 

I got a baseball bat beside my bed
The fight I fought inside my head
The fight I fought behind my meds
I'm lonely, lost in pain

"Of course not! Of course not...I would never think that...Ajax..." You frowned as you walked forward cupping your hands against his tear-stained cheeks. His sobs increased as he placed his hand against yours, pressing it into his face almost as if to assure himself that you were still there. He leaned his head down onto your shoulder, his other hand reaching around and grasping your back against him. You took note of the slight bloodstains on his shirt, your lips pressing into a thin line, and your eyebrows furrowing as you ran your other hand through his hair. 

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay
You're not a monster, just a human
That you made of your mistakes
It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay
You're not grouse, I'm just human
That you made of your mistakes
It's alright.

"I could never look at you as a monster...when I look at you, Ajax, all I see is a man who wants to desperately protect those he loves, and that's something that I will always admire about you..." You whispered. "We all make mistakes; it's a part of being human. I know you might feel lost and alone right now, but I can guarantee that as long as you stick to your values, that you will always find your way back."

Goddamn
I've thrown a brick right through the window
My life ignored the signals
I am high and drunk on ego
Can't see straight

His cries slowly went away, but he still kept a firm grasp on you, holding on as if you were the only thing keeping him on Earth. The stars looked down, twinkling brightly as the two of you stood in the doorway, savoring the warmth of the embrace you shared. 

So I just feel my way around man
I am touching, I am grabbing
Everything I can't be havin'
I am broken down in shame

"Do you wanna go inside?" You quietly whispered, softly rubbing the back of his head. You felt a slight nod from him, and you slowly led him inside, leading him to your shared bedroom.

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay
You're not a demon, there's a reason
You're behaving that way
It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay
And I believe, yes I believe
That you will see a better day
It's alright.

The two of you sat down on the side of the bed, Childe's head buried in the crook of your neck. You slipped his mask off from the side of his head setting it on the small table near the bed. 

"Why don't we change out your clothes, hm?" You suggested. You were sure that he wouldn't want to stay in his slightly bloodstained clothes for much longer. 

I don't wanna know who I am
'Cause heaven only knows what I find
I don't wanna know I'm not capable of coming out alive
I don't wanna see what's inside
I think that I would rather be blind
I don't wanna know I'm not capable, I'm capable

The empty look in Childe's eyes slowly softened up into just sadness, and you weren't sure which one hurt you more to look at. He kept a tight grip on your hand the entire time, only letting go to let you take off his bloodstained clothing. 

"Do you want to go to sleep?" You asked softly. He nodded, and you smiled at him wiping a few tears off his cheeks. 

I'm alright, I'm okay, I'm alright, I'm okay
I'm not a monster, I'm a human
And I made a few mistakes
I'm alright, I'm okay, I'm alright, I'm okay
I'm not grouse, I'm just human
And I made a few...

You held him against your chest, running your hands through his orange locks. His arms were wrapped around you, keeping a tight grip. It took a while for him to fall asleep, but once he did, he look more relaxed, which relieved you. He didn't mention what happened, but you knew he would tell you whenever he was ready. 

You pressed a kiss to the top of his head, nuzzling your face in his hair. 

"I love you." 

It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay
You're not a demon, there's a reason
You're behaving that way
It's alright, it's okay, it's alright, it's okay
And I believe, yes I believe
That you will see a better day
It's alright, oh
It's okay, oh
It's alright, oh
And I believe, yes I believe
That you will see a better day.

--

so I haven't written in literal months so please excuse the writing if it's rusty I'm trying here people 

but anyways, hope you guys enjoyed!! I'll probably edit this later lolz but I I'm just gonna publish it now because I wanna get something out