A Year Of Hope

I realized then that I had never been in the dining room.

My  parents had never said it, but it was very obvious I was not allowed in there. My parents had the most extravagant meal I had even seen them prepare. That I was allowed to eat anyways. Growing up, my mom always prepared me something quick, like Chef Boyardee's, canned soup, lunchables, or anything else she could whip up in minutes, or she would pick me up some fast food or order me a pizza. She would then make a proper meal for her and my dad that they would eat after I had gone to bed. When I became old enough to cook, I began cooking for myself because frankly I was tired of processed food, and anything off limits my mom and dad would put a sticky note on that said "Mom" or "Dad". It wasn't much I wasn't allowed to have, it was little things like my dad's favorite chips, or my mom's pomegranate juice.

In front of us was a wide array of options. There was grilled chicken and steaks, scalloped potatoes, lasagna, steamed carrots, grilled asparagus, salad, and dinner rolls.

It all looked delicious, and my mouth began to water, but something about this irritated me. Why now? I thought. What changed?

"Is something wrong, Mordecai," my dad asked  after seeing my annoyed expression.

"No..." I said as I took my seat. "I was just thinking about how you never made me anything like this when I was growing up. Feels weird."

My mom and dad exchanged a remorseful glance at me, then stared at each other with an ashamed expression. I didn't have any qualms being blunt, but Jane would tell me later I was rather too nice for someone who dealt with refrigerator parents.

I sat down on one side of the table, Jane and Sam sitting on either side of me, and my dad and mom sat on the other side. No one sat at the head of the table.

"Dig in," my dad said awkwardly.

As we each filled our plated, all of us choosing the steaks, and I chose the scalloped potatoes and steamed carrots, and a dinner roll. Jane took some lasagna and a salad, and Sam the scalloped potatoes and the asparagus.

My mom retrieved us all new drinks, even me who didn't even touch my drink. She then sat down with my dad. They each took grilled chicken and salad and a dinner roll and that was it. They hadn't touched their food, but as soon as they served themselves, Sam, Jane and I were all eating our food. 

My dad cleared his throat. "So... Mordecai. Are you in college?"

Jane laughed coldly, and Sam and I stared at her to see if she had a comment, but she shook her head and cut another piece of steak.

"Um, yes I am. I go to school with Sam and Jane. At what used to be the women's college in the college town."

"Oh... that's a pretty good school!" my dad said, sounding impressed. "What... what are you studying."

"Hmmm," Sam said as she took a sip of her drink. "That's pretty pitiful that you don't know any of this about your own child, don't you think?"

I ignored Sam's comment, and said, "English and Secondary Education. Jane is too. And Sam is studying to be an EMT."

"Oh those are such... modest professions," my  mother said. I wasn't really sure what she meant by modest. Did she think being a teacher or an EMT was not as great as their professions, or was she maybe referring to the lower salary they recieved?

"Modest, maybe," Jane replied. "Perhaps the word you mean is compassionate and empathetic. At least it is more so than a lawyer and private practice doctor.... Cai, is making straight As you know. Well, actually, you wouldn't know, I guess."

My mom and dad tried to hide their shame, but they didn't do a very good job.

"Oh, Cai, you should tell them. About the Fine Arts Showcase," Sam retorted.