A Year Of Hope

To Whomever Finds This Note:

Most likely, you don't know me personally. I put this in an obscure yet significant spot that I don't think anyone will suspect.

You could also be the police looking for a motive. Maybe you're a stranger found this by mistake and you're curious about what this journal entails.

Or you could be Jane or Sam, far less likely and I surely hope that isn't the case.

Whoever you are, if you're reading this now, it means I'm dead. You're probably slightly saddened to hear this news, but I promise you it's for the best. My death will be nothing significant. Very few people actually cared for me, and even then, I think they too will realize how great life will be without me.

I wasn't anyone of significance. I wasn't a good person by any stretch. I was just a sad, gray man who was more of a burden than anything.

Despite this, there was one person who cared about me more than anyone.

Her name is Jane. I didn't deserve her, but she gave me the time of day anyways. She has a natural charm that causes everyone who meets her to like her immediately. She can make an event of something as tedious as watching paint dry. She was naturally selfless, and always put everyone ahead of herself. And she is far more intelligent than anyone I had met before, although she tried to downplay this trait in front of others.

If you're only interested in finding the reason I killed myself, I can tell you now the answer isn't all that simple. I had been plagued by a deep sadness, the kind of sadness that seemed to stay forever, even if for a time I could trick myself into believe I was happy. The cause of this sadness , however, I could never quite figure out. Perhaps I deserved it, who knows. There is no one to blame for this sadness, other than myself.

And if Jane or Sam find this, I want you to know this is by no means your fault. You guys brought nothing but greatness into my life, and for that I am thankful. And I'm sorry I couldn't provide the same for you. 

But even now knowing the "cause", I encourage you to keep reading, for this is more than just a simple suicide note . This is the story of Jane. The girl who can see color in the grayest of men. The girl who gave me a year of hope.