Poems

Depressing Sorrows

I feel like no one cares

Depressing music blares

Coming from my stereo

I linked it to the radio

All I feel is my heart break

I'm what my family really hates

I cry too much, I'm too weak

I feel like I'm a stupid freak

What they call me doesn't compare

To the name my head swears

Are the truth behind my lies

About why I really cry

I'm not good enough, there I said it

That's why I continue to sprint

Away from the truth of why I lied

And from the reasons that I cry

Myself to sleep, now every night

That is why I'm not alright

I'm sorry I've been lying to you

I'm so sorry I hid the truth

I can not say how bad it is

'Cause I've been hiding in a bliss

I didn't want to face the facts

I'm amazed I haven't cracked

But some day it'll become too much

For you to fix with your magic touch

I'm sorry I hid all this from you

I am just far too askew

My look alone is far too bad

My hair just makes my mother sad

I have to change, be a better me

Even though I just want to dive off that tree

I continue to try and stay strong

Even though I know I don't belong

You asked me who calls me fat

I was to scared to tell you that

My family is what I should have said

They are the reason I refuse the bread

And most foods around me, that is

They're the reason foods what I miss

As far for the rest, well look around

So many reasons for why I want to drown

I feel like my path is clear

If only an arrow would just appear

And guide me towards the right way

Help me with what to do and say

I really am a different person today

There's so many reasons I am this way

I don't have time To tell you them now

But here is my future vow

Maybe a day when I find the right words

When who I am isn't split into thirds

I can take a chance to explain

Why I choose to cover the pain

And how I became this way

Maybe, just maybe, someday...

I couldn't just end that, so I left it to forever continue on. I don't know what to say, but with all the deep chiz that was in that thing, I feel like I should say something. So, real quick, what do you guys think? 

I know that this one is a depressing one, but this is better than nothing. Lately I have been so down, I haven't even been able to write anything. In fact, this one took three days! It has been so chaotic at my house, I haven't really had time to do the Brittaney-cheer-me-up. (That's a secret thing I do when I am so deep in darks-ville, I can't even see the light from the sun.) Any-who, I am sorry this one was so sad, and depressing, and all that wacko stuff that no one really wants to read about, but it is all that really comes out. Anyways, back on topic, what was the topic? I should probably get some sleep. This sleep deprivation thing is starting to mess with my head. If I am lucky, tonight will be no nightmares. Last night was so bad, I was up half the night petrified to just close my eyes. I was so tired today, when I was in the shower, I washed my hair with body wash, and my body with shampoo! I just can't even close my eyes without seeing those awful pictures, which will probably be the star of the next poem. Talk to all of you later, and lets hope I can get some sleep before I pass out in the middle of class!! Yeah?? OK, this is starting to get long, so, bye.