I feel like no one cares
Depressing music blares
Coming from my stereo
I linked it to the radio
All I feel is my heart break
I'm what my family really hates
I cry too much, I'm too weak
I feel like I'm a stupid freak
What they call me doesn't compare
To the name my head swears
Are the truth behind my lies
About why I really cry
I'm not good enough, there I said it
That's why I continue to sprint
Away from the truth of why I lied
And from the reasons that I cry
Myself to sleep, now every night
That is why I'm not alright
I'm sorry I've been lying to you
I'm so sorry I hid the truth
I can not say how bad it is
'Cause I've been hiding in a bliss
I didn't want to face the facts
I'm amazed I haven't cracked
But some day it'll become too much
For you to fix with your magic touch
I'm sorry I hid all this from you
I am just far too askew
My look alone is far too bad
My hair just makes my mother sad
I have to change, be a better me
Even though I just want to dive off that tree
I continue to try and stay strong
Even though I know I don't belong
You asked me who calls me fat
I was to scared to tell you that
My family is what I should have said
They are the reason I refuse the bread
And most foods around me, that is
They're the reason foods what I miss
As far for the rest, well look around
So many reasons for why I want to drown
I feel like my path is clear
If only an arrow would just appear
And guide me towards the right way
Help me with what to do and say
I really am a different person today
There's so many reasons I am this way
I don't have time To tell you them now
But here is my future vow
Maybe a day when I find the right words
When who I am isn't split into thirds
I can take a chance to explain
Why I choose to cover the pain
And how I became this way
Maybe, just maybe, someday...
I couldn't just end that, so I left it to forever continue on. I don't know what to say, but with all the deep chiz that was in that thing, I feel like I should say something. So, real quick, what do you guys think?
I know that this one is a depressing one, but this is better than nothing. Lately I have been so down, I haven't even been able to write anything. In fact, this one took three days! It has been so chaotic at my house, I haven't really had time to do the Brittaney-cheer-me-up. (That's a secret thing I do when I am so deep in darks-ville, I can't even see the light from the sun.) Any-who, I am sorry this one was so sad, and depressing, and all that wacko stuff that no one really wants to read about, but it is all that really comes out. Anyways, back on topic, what was the topic? I should probably get some sleep. This sleep deprivation thing is starting to mess with my head. If I am lucky, tonight will be no nightmares. Last night was so bad, I was up half the night petrified to just close my eyes. I was so tired today, when I was in the shower, I washed my hair with body wash, and my body with shampoo! I just can't even close my eyes without seeing those awful pictures, which will probably be the star of the next poem. Talk to all of you later, and lets hope I can get some sleep before I pass out in the middle of class!! Yeah?? OK, this is starting to get long, so, bye.
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Poems
PoetryI was going through some stuff in my room, and found an old book. It was full of these poems. I decided to share them with you. There is some deep stuff in here. I hope you enjoy it, and if you think it sucks, sorry. I guess I took it off of the pub...