Poems

On My Mind

You want to know what is on my mind

What I think about day and night

You want to know why I cry myself to sleep

Or how about why you don't here a peep

I still think about how you abandoned me

I just couldn't seem to get you to see

That was when I needed you most

Yet you disappeared just like a ghost

I didn't know how to stay strong

All I knew was how bad it was, wrong

All of it occurred right in front of the class

Those horrible memories will forever last

I guess I can't expect you to know

Why I wear band, why my wrists aren't shown

Because I will wake up in the middle of the night

My head filling my sleep with all of my fright

Fear that she is bound to come back

I'm scared that she will re-attack

I don't know if I'll survive if she does

I think my heart will probably bust

But you didn't listen, almost all year long

That is why I listen to my sad songs

You didn't believe me, when the truth was right here

I just wanted to go disappear

You said I didn't know what it was

I blame you, now, because

If you had believe me the first time I told you

If you had listened when I told you the truth

I wouldn't have dealt with that pain all year

I wouldn't wake up in the night, wanting to disappear

If you had just listened to me, you would've seen

Just how hard it was to come clean

Didn't you learn after my fifth grade year

Why coldn't you see that the truth was right here

Right before your very eyes

That was the struggle behind my cries

I guess that is why I can't seem to move on

And get passed all the sad time songs

The truth is what is on my mind

Is something that you cannot define

Because you didn't give me the chance to show you

What, in your heart, you should've known was true

So yes, mother, I do blame you

Because you didn't believe the truth

And now my friends ask why I lie

They also ask why I'm ashamed to cry

You called me a baby, and shot down my plea

And I only had one friend able to repair me

That is what hasn't left my mind

The story isn't over though, because that's just one side

There is also the parts where I tried to ignore it

The parts where I pretended it didn't hit

But the truth is that everything they said

Is the reason I lie in bed

Crying my eyes out before I go to sleep

But use a pillow, so you don't here a peep

My friends are the reason I'm still here today

And you are the one that walked away

I'm your daughter, I am supposed to be able to ask for your assist

That is one reason there are scars on my wrist

Because even after all I've been through

I still thought I could rely on you

But, I guess I was wrong, once again

The only ones I can believe in are my friends

That is why I tried to shut you out

That is why I decided to fake a pout

Because not only did you not help back then

But now you decide to agree with them

I don't want to hear it anymore

That is why I locked the door

Because you went with them, and called me that name

You, daddy, and buba are to blame

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Sorry for this one being so long, I just had a LOT to get off my chest. I understand that it i a little childish to call my dad daddy, and my brother buba, but that is just who I am. Live with it. I just wanted to show you guys my fun side, and also give you a chance to see part of the reason I am the person I am today. I just also want to promote a book I wrote when I first set up watt-pad. My First Story, but since that is such a common name, I might change it to Bullies In The Middle. Just a little heads up. It all just depends on how well that looks on a cover. If it doesn't look good, or I don't have the time ti change it, you can go to my user-page-thingy, and go to my works. You'll find it there. If you have already read it, then Great!! I have to go now, I have a dumb social studies project that makes no sense to me what-so-ever, that I have to finish. So, I'll see all of you wonderful butterflies later!! I promise to write another poem soon. Ok, bye.