as unsinkable as i can be // the wilds

chapter four.

"Are you freaking kidding me?!"

"Look, all I'm saying is that-"

"Leah, get the freak out of your head! What is wrong with you?!"

"All I'm saying is that there is something wrong here! There was something wrong with Jeanette! Why wouldn't she tell us about her second phone?!"

"Of course there was something wrong with Jeanette. She was freaking bleeding internally. She's dead, Leah!"

"Dot, stay out of this!"

"What I don't understand, Leah, is why you didn't wake us up when you heard the freaking ringtone!"

I tried to tune out Rachel, Leah, and Dot as I wrapped Martha's foot, Toni holding it steady and Shelby soothing Martha as she winced from the pain.

"I'm trying to be as gentle as I can," I said softly to Martha, who whimpered as I started to tie the makeshift bandage off as tight as I could without causing any more damage.

"Marty, you need to stay off of it as much as possible," Toni instructed, a worried look etched into her face. "We can't have it getting any worse."

"At least Shelby pulled me from the riptide so quickly, or else it could be a lot worse," Martha said through gritted teeth, and Shelby pulled her close into a hug. I saw Toni scowl at the blonde Texan, clenching and unclenching her fists, but she didn't say anything. I placed my hand on her shoulder, trying to communicate with my eyes that it was okay.

"Don't worry," I heard Shelby whisper into Martha's ear. "I'll pray for you and God will heal it." Martha smiled a little, but I could see the hurt still in her eyes. I didn't know how to help her. None of us did, and we were too afraid to tell her that her ankle just kept getting worse, the swelling enlarging, the colors turning deeper and nastier shades of purples and blacks. We just offered her a LaCroix that we found when we could spare it and made sure that she never stood on it.

"What a load of bull," Toni muttered under her breath, trying her hardest to keep her hands steady as she made sure I had tied the t-shirt correctly, shooing off my hand with a shrug. I studied her as she concentrated on the knots. I noticed the way her hands were rough like they had been through things before, and her nails were incredibly short and ragged. Her fingers moved with purpose, and she had incredible control of them.

She focused on supporting Martha's ankle with the pieces of wood we had found for a substitute splint, not responding to my curious eyes at first. It took her a second to realize I had noticed her redoing everything that I had just done, and she blushed a little and looked sheepishly at me.

"I-I'm sorry, I just want it to be perfect-"

"Don't worry about it. I understand," I told her, trying to sound as reassuring as possible. She smiled at me - such a tight-lipped grin - and I smiled back, beginning to help her in double-checking that the wrap was working as well as it could be.

When we finished, Toni moved to go sit next to Martha - who had moved closer to the fire for warmth - but quickly changed routes when Shelby got there first.

This was the moment I finally started to become aware of the others since the initial crash.

Leah was clinging so hard to her book and was pretty separated from the rest of the group. Later, I would learn that this was a common occurrence, Leah being on her own, rereading pages that she had already read a hundred times. Her fingers running over the margin notes, as if she could still feel his touch through the ink. Frankly, it became weird when she actually engaged in a conversation.