as unsinkable as i can be // the wilds

chapter twenty-eight.

The ocean was the best and the worst alarm clock ever.

It must've been what it felt like to be drowning, that feeling of being swept out from under your feet and unable to pull yourself back in. But isn't that also what falling in love feels like?

A big part of me blocked out that morning, if you could even call it that. There still wasn't any sun, the moon still peeking over at us, laughing as if we were children. I guess we seemed like children then.

Rachel made a move for the black box before she even thought about her sister. In some ways, I respect it; it was the trolley situation all over again. But also... your sister? Your twin sister, at that? There was something wrong about it, about watching Nora sink down under the waves and knowing her sister was onshore, fiddling with a box that we didn't even know if it was working or not.

We huddled under the pieces of the emergency slide that we could find, trembling against one another, knowing that in those moments, we just had to wait it out.

When the sky cleared, there was peace among us. Well, most of us. Rachel and Nora's shouts were heard around the bend, the rest of us trying to act as if we couldn't hear, as if we weren't listening.

Meanwhile, the rest of us worked in silent suffering, patching together whatever we could with directions from Dot, who's knee was better but also wasn't. There was a dryness to us, a swollenness of our vocal chords that left us virtually unable to even respond to one another.

I watched Toni out of the corner of my eye, and I could see her watching me back. I wanted to say something to her, let her know how much I loved her, ask her if she was okay, but there was a shout from a couple hundred feet away, stopping me from saying anything.

"Y'all! Look what I found!"

Shelby. Of course.

There was a flurry of sluggish movements, and Dot hobbled over to where Shelby was triumphantly holding up a bag.

"I-I think it's Jeanette's!"

There was a sudden silence, uncomfortable, but we crowded around the bag anyway, watching Shelby pull the contents out one by one. There was everything in it: a lighter, food, medications, even vodka. Excitement rippled through us all, especially as Dot recognized a pill that would knock Martha right back on course with healing.

Leah stayed far away, though, arms crossed tightly over her chest, face hardened, bottom lip being worried away by unbrushed teeth. Fatin whispered something in her ear, which only seemed to further the anger that coursed through Leah.

"Where did you find this?" Leah asked suddenly, pulling Shelby up to her feet.

"Over there, behind the rocks. It must've been brought in by the surge or something! I mean look at all of this!"

Leah picked at her nails, eyes crazy.

"Don't you think it's a little suspicious? That every time something happens, it always has something to do with you?" The other girls began to hear what was happening, crowding around Leah.

"Leah, calm down. You don't know what you're saying," Fatin said quietly, trying to pull her away from the group. Leah ripped her arm out of her hold, nearly knocking Fatin to the ground. Leah got face to face with Shelby, noses nearly touching.

"Where do you sneak off to every morning and every night? What are you doing every day that is so mysterious and so important that none of us can know about it? Hm, Shelby?"

Tears began to fall down the blonde's face, her hands shaking.

"You really wanna know, do you?" She put her hand in her mouth, and Leah tensed up, taking a step back. Shelby pulled her hand out, and sitting in her palm were teeth.

"I've got fake teeth, okay? And I sneak off every day and every night so I can wash them in private because I am so embarrassed that I have these!"

Leah stuttered, not able to create words. Toni grabbed my hand, the two of us watching in horror as the situation unfolded in front of us.

We weren't shocked by Shelby's teeth; like yes, it was surprising, but we all didn't care. There was something about each of us that we wanted private. It was more the idea that Leah had truly lost it; her hair was tangled in ways that suggested they were self-inflicted, and she seemed nervous at all points during the day. This wasn't a fear that someone was working from the inside of the group; it was the fear that Leah would turn herself against the rest of them.

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Okay yall I'm so sorry. I really went MIA there, didn't I? Thank yall for checking up on me though! It means so much that yall are concerned about me!

It's been a crazy summer, which is really why it's been so long, but I promise there will be more coming! I'm actually thinking about starting another project really soon, too, so keep your eyes and ears peeled for that! (Especially those poets!)

Love yall! Keep reading!!

xoxo,

Em :)