as unsinkable as i can be // the wilds

chapter thirteen.

"How did she make you feel?"
    "Freaking infinite. She could finally look at me and not feel ashamed of how she felt about me. You know, it's one thing, to be in a relationship where you both like each other, and you hold hands and kiss and go to the movies. But... it's a completely different thing to see a person and automatically get the feeling that they are going to become important to you. Maybe it's from a look they give you, or an act of kindness, or the way that they bite their bottom lip after you kiss them and it makes everything around you disappear. But it's just this gut instinct, and I have a feeling it doesn't come around very often."
    "Why do you think it took her so long to return those feelings that were obviously there but she was choosing not to act on?"
    "... something happened to her at home. There has to be someone out there, whether it be a parent or a friend or whatever, who has told her that feeling this way was wrong. I mean, she's from the south; not to be stereotypical or anything, but those people fricken shudder at the idea of a gay person."
    "She hasn't told you what happened?"
    "No, she hasn't. She has this... barrier up, all around her, and you can get just close enough to see the barrier, but you can't reach through and make it disappear, or even see what she's hiding back there. I want to help her, and I can tell a lot of the other girls want to as well. But she's... she's..."
"Leah described her as Bella Swan from 'Twilight.'"
"Hah, why does that actually make sense, and why does it not shock me that that's the reference Leah uses?"
"Seems like you guys are pretty close."
"We all are, every one of us. Maybe we weren't at the beginning, and there were definite moments of doubt or separation, but now... now we just have this understanding, and for a lot of us, there's that one person who is there for us the most, and that's who we cling on to at all times."
"Who is that person for you?"
"At first, it was Marty, and a lot of times, it still is. But it's also the girl who makes me feel like I'm this invincible, heroic person who can't ever mess anything up and has all of the control in the world; over herself, and what happens to those she loves. All of it."
"Raelynn."
"Yeah. She's... she's the only reason I'm here right now."