as unsinkable as i can be // the wilds

chapter twenty-two.

I ran.
    I ran faster than I had ever ran before. I ran past Toni's voice, screaming my name, trying to follow me. I ran past Rachel waist-deep in quicksand, my mind not even comprehending what was going on. I ran and I ran until tears streamed so fast that I couldn't even see what was in front of me.
    The scene just kept replaying in my head, over and over again, hitting me as if it was that first moment all over again, waking up in the middle of nowhere, feeling so freaking alone that you don't even know what to do with yourself. Branches tore up my knees and my arms, even my face at some moments, but the pain never registered.
Nothing could register.
    I don't know how long I ran. It could've been seconds, it could've been hours, but it wasn't until I slammed into someone, my eyes too blurry for me to see who it was, their arms held me so tight that I couldn't wrench free from their grip, that I stopped. My chest heaved so fast as I tried to suck in air, my lungs screaming at me, betraying me... something I had gotten way too used to.
    "Hey! Rae! What happened?! Why are you running?!"
    Fatin. I had found her. Or, well, more that she had found me.
    "She- she-" I collapsed up against her, yet another thing that had been happening way too often for my liking.
    "Rae, Rae! Get a grip!" She held my head between her hands, looking me dead in the eyes and wiping my tears away. "You need to pull yourself together. I don't know what happened, but I have a feeling it freaking sucks. And believe me, I know what that feels like. But for a single moment, forget about it." She helped me stand up. "Look."
    I turned to where she was pointing, and suddenly, I began smiling. And then laughing. And then running.
    It was a waterfall.
    "No way, Fatin! You're a lifesaver. Literally." She laughed, following me as I stood on the bank of the waterfall, kneeling down and scooping the water over my head, letting the cool water stream over my cheeks and down my chin.
    "This is why you ran off?" I asked, squeezing out my tank top and coming to sit beside her on the rock she was perched on that overlooked the entire waterfall.
    "I guess. I don't really know what I was looking for, but I knew that I needed to find something useful."
    "Did Leah get to your head?"
    She scoffed, laughing a little. "That girl has some serious issues, but... she was right. Other than my suitcase, I haven't been helpful. I knew that the entire time, and yet... I couldn't help but think this was all some practical joke, and that we were doing all of this for nothing."
     I wrapped my arms around her shoulders, and she leaned into me. "It's okay, because look what you found. This is more helpful than anything anyone else has found, period. You're like... the queen of finding useful things."
    We giggled a little, and then fell silent. I was about to say something when there were loud voices, and then a sudden silence. I slid down the rock to go see what was going on when Dot, Rachel, Leah, and Martha broke into the clearing. Every single one of them was covered head to toe in mud, especially Rachel, and I started to feel extremely guilty for not stopping when Dot started yelling.
    "Yes. YES. YESSSSSSS FATIN!! YES OH MY GOD OH MY GOD YES!!! YES YES YES YES YES!!!" She ran up the boulder and bear-hugged Fatin, who laughed loudly and hugged her back.
    "Don't worry, Dorthy, I'll leave the rest of the saving to you." The rest of the girls seemed starstruck, until Martha ran straight into the water, not even taking off her clothes in the process. Rachel followed, but Leah seemed to hang back a little. I went up to her, and she seemed guilty about something, too, only I couldn't tell what.
    "I can't believe she found this," she said softly. "I was a jerk to her and she went and found this. No one can compete with this."
    I nudged her a little. "Then go tell her that."
    Leah nodded, looking off at where Fatin was sitting on the boulder, laughing with Dot. I pushed her again, and finally she moved. I watched her sit next to Fatin, who threw her arms around her and smiled.
    "It's okay," I saw her mouth say, and I couldn't help but smile.
    "Rae." My head whipped around, and there she was. All I could think was that I had forgotten. For the first time in my life, something had gone wrong, and for a little bit of time, I had forgotten. Fatin had done that for me, and now, it was coming back.
    "I don't want to talk to you," I hissed, trying to turn back. Toni put her hand on my shoulder, but I flinched away from her. I could see the pain in her eyes, but in that moment, I didn't care.
    "Rae, listen to me-"
    "No! You think I would listen to you? You were one of the only people on this island who understood me, who knew me better than I knew myself. And now this? This is what you do? For a girl like her, who all she can do is talk about some boy she misses back home?"
    "Rae, she's confused-"
    "She doesn't have a right to be confused! I don't care how confused you are, you don't go and make out with someone who's in a relationship!"
    "Rae, I didn't kiss her back!"
    Silence.
    "Y-you didn't?" Toni smiled, taking a step closer to me, but still not touching me.
    "No, of course not! You think I would do that? Rae, I-" She stopped. I pleaded with my eyes for her to continue on, to keep going, to say it first. I would say it back, I knew I would. The words were already forming on my lips.
    "-I need you, more than anything."
    It stunned me, just a little... or a lot. But I nodded, and I told her I believed her, and I was about to take her hand when the deafening crack of bones echoed against the waterfall.
    "DOT!"

—-

Am I currently in Spanish class? Yes. But I just wrote this and it's not my best work but I still hope you guys enjoy!
Also I got a 100 on my geometry quiz and it brought my grade up four points so please be proud of me.
xoxo,
Em :)