Sheogorath's Children

Chapter 12: Fun Things To Do With Uncle Sanguine, Part 2

"Who are those people?" Sanguine asked.

"Why do you have them on your phone, in your contacts, able to talk with them?" Elaina questioned.

"Because. Anyway, Trevor has to fly here, but I can summon Slenderman any time I want. Here," she said and touched one of the pentagrams on her phone case.

"No, not in here, dumba-" Elaina said but was cut off when she was squished down by Slenderman who was teleported in the back, sitting on her.

"Why does he have heart boxers on?" Sanguine asked, a bit concerned. "Don't you wear a suit?"

"WHAT THE FUCK, WHY DID YOU SUMMON ME?! I was getting dressed!" Slenderman screeched.

"Because you said you'd help me..." Cassy said.

"You couldn't have waited five seconds?"

"No."

"Fuck it, I'll kill John in my underwear."

"Bro, you're also drunk af,' Sanguine said.

"No, I have a hangover."

"Oh, cool."

They all got out of the car and stood around, waiting for TP to show up. Elaina reloaded her flamethrower with more fuel, and Cassy bought a new avocado.

Finally, TP showed up flying a plane. He jumped out and used a parachute to fly down, allowing the plane to crash, taking out an entire outpost in the process. Immediately, everyone was slowed down by the stupid cutscene that shows whenever you liberate an outpost.

When it finished, they were all teleported right to the liberated outpost, much to everyone's dismay. "Dammit, TP! You're shit!" Cassy yelled.

"I know!" he roared.

"Well, now we have to run all the way back to the John Shit Church!"

"I know that too!"

"Sanguine needs the exercise," Elaina mumbled.

"Let's goooo!" Sanguine said.

They started to run to the Church, occasionally collecting plants to make drugs along the way. They also, for some reason, decided to take a thirty-minute break to hunt some animals.

Slenderman was ahead of them the entire time because he could teleport. Suddenly, they heard plane sounds and rustling sounds. They all stopped and looked around frantically. "You guys heard that, right?" Cassy asked.

"I did! It was the fucking clowns," Trevor said.

Cassy nearly had a panic attack and almost died on the spot. "Oh no! Oh no!"

On their radios, they heard, "Get those Sinners that tried to go kill John! And don't kill them, John wants them!"

Cassy had a full-blown panic attack at that point and started to throw avocados randomly, accidentally knocking out one of the stealth cultists.

They shot the team with Bliss bullets (and had to shoot Sanguine at least five times because his drug resistance was so high). Slenderman, noticing that no-one was following him, teleported back only to find his friends were getting loaded up into trucks. Oh no, he thought. What am I gonna do?

They all woke up in John's Church, tied to chairs. They had gagged Trevor because he was swearing so much and they didn't want that shit on thier Christian Minecraft Server.

Elaina said, "What the fuck?"

Sanguine said, "First time?"

She looked at him with confusion, then realized what he meant. "Ah, yes," she said.