Sheogorath's Children

Chapter 5: Cassy Should Never Be Allowed To Shop

Cassy and Elaina came in from their first day, laughing their asses off at what had happened at school. They had, however, reached a silent agreement to probably never talk about why Cassy had to distract the class. As they walked in to greet Sheogorath, he asked, "Were you two good today?"

Cassy and Elaina were quiet for a moment. Then Elaina said a bit sheepishly, "For the most part."

"Glad to hear!" Sheogorath exclaimed. "I was half-expecting one of you to tear out someone's intestines! Which is good fun and all, but not good for school."

Cassy was silent. Elaina gave him a thumbs-up. "Well, since you two were good..." he said, getting up and walking towards them.

He handed them each a small bag that made clinking sounds. Elaina shook it a bit and asked, "What is inside of it?"

"Oh, just a bit of coin. For being good and not killing, you know."

"I didn't even know that crossed your mind..." Cassy said quietly.

"What if we crapped our pants?" Elaina asked.

Sheogorath burst into manic laughter. "Well, if that were the case," he said, still laughing, "I don't know!"

Cassy and Elaina started laughing as well, realizing the stupidity of that situation. After they stopped madly laughing, Elaian took a deep breath and said, "Thank you for the money. We'll be off now."

"Alright, have fun. Don't kill anyone important," Sheogorath said.

Cassy and Elaina, after they left, debated about what to do. Eventually, they agreed on just going shopping. In New Sheoth, there were quite a few markets around, so there wasn't anything to really worry about.

Even if there were many markets, Elaina was worried about Cassy buying things, or her lack thereof. She had issues about spending money, per say, but not because she bought too much. She could hardly spend fifty cents on one stick of gum. Well, maybe that was an exaggeration. She couldn't spend more than thirty dollars on a nice jean jacket. Elaina, on the other hand, always had a tendency to spend too much money.

They walked to a market that had food. Cassy, after pondering over the menu and having massive problems over making decisions, ordered the one septim special, which was pizza with toothpaste as the main topping, along with a glass of milk to be dipped in.

So disgusted by what Cassy had ordered, Elaina decided to not order any food. After watching Cassy eat - and enjoy - that meal, they headed off to the next market.

Cassy and Elaina walked along, as the citizens of New Sheoth passed by muttering to themselves and speaking to non-real people. The two suddenly came to a stop. A green Argonian with red markings and an odd blue and white outfit came running to them, crouched.

"H-hi," Cassy stuttered out.

"Big Head needs his fork!"

Elaina looked around the place, trying not to make eye contact with him. To her, it was just like trying not to look at the crack head in the gas station.

Cassy looked at him, confused, "A fork? Why do you need a fork?"

"Because the forks call out to Big Head. Big Head likes his forks," the bizarre Argonian, now revealed as Big Head, said.

"Oh, you like forks! Not a fan of them myself, I like spoons better, but I get why," Cassy said.

"Do you know where Big Head can find some forks?" he asked.

"Uh... no. But I can buy some for you!" Cassy exclaimed.

Elaina glared at Cassy. "We should probably go now..."

"No, he needs forks. I'm gonna get him forks," Cassy said with determination. "Plus, how much would a fork cost anyway?"

A massive chunk of Elaina's soul died right there on the spot. "Cassy, this is probably not a good idea..." she said, but Cassy was already taking off to a shop where she could buy some forks for Big Head.

Elaina groaned and took off after her. Cassy ran to the nearest shop that looked like it might sell forks. She bolted inside and, out of breath, asked, "Do you have any forks?"

The shopkeeper, while a bit confused, said, "Yes. We have a lot of forks."

"How much are they?" she asked, eyes huge.

"Two coin each," they said.

"I'll take your entire stock," Cassy exclaimed and reached out her hand.

After Cassy bought all of the forks and lost all of her money except 1 coin, she ran back to Big Head. Elaina chased right back after her, now livid with irritation. "Here!" Cassy exclaimed. "I got you some forks!"

Big Head's face lit up with joy, while Elaina's lit up with anger. "The one time you actually spend money and it's on forks!" she cried.

"But he wanted forks..." Cassy tried to reason as she gave the forks to the Argonian.

"Yeah, and I wanted you to get that jean jacket and you didn't!" she exclaimed.

"Oh, I kinda forgot about that..." Cassy said, giving the rest of the forks to Big Head.

"Thank you," he said, a huge smile lighting up his reptilian face.

"No problem!" Cassy said, feeling happy she helped.

Elaina, furious that Cassy would do such a thing, yelled at Cassy.

"250 forks, Cassy! 250! 250!"

"Yeah, so?" she said, not looking at her.

"We're going home, and I am never taking you shopping again!"

Big Head, now super confused, ran away. Elaina grabbed Cassy by the wrist, pretty much dragging her back to Sheogorath so she could tell him what a bad kid Cassy was.