More Then Just Broken

4. Overdue Death

EDITED

After i took my homework out of my locker and put it into my bag, i bid Adeline goodbye and began my walk home.

She offered me a ride but I declined as walking was my only time of peace, I didn't tell her that of course.

As I was walking my thoughts wonderd off to how today was acually not so bad, but then I remembered that the day isn't over yet and that I shouldn't get my hopes up.

I couldn't help the flame of hope that sparked in my heart at the though of Adeline being my friend but I quickly shut the thought and hope down.

As I was walking towards my hell hole formally known as my home I noticed that my dad's car was in the parking lot and the feeling of panic, fear and cousiousness crept in.

Should I go in? I should sneak in he will probably be too intoxicated to notice.

I try to convince my self but I knew that it was too good to be true my dad is never too drunk to leave me alone.

I walk in slowly so I don't make noise and all of a sudden I feel a painful sting on my check making my head jerk to the side and when I looked up I saw my dad looking wasted as usual.

"W-where is m-my lunch. Y-you were supposed to make lunch you bitch" He slurred out, his face flickering from drunk to angry. I wince in fear as I feared for what would come next and i knew it wouldn't be good.

He starts his rant about how worthless I am, and how I'm good for nothing blah blah blah. I've already heard those words more then I'd like to admit so I just looked down and blankly stared at the floor.

He realised that I wasn't paying attention and slapped me one more time making me fall to the ground. Seeing as the slap wasn't enough he starts kicking me blindly.

After a couple of excruciating  minutes which felt like hours he stopped and told me to prepare lunch but not eat any including supper.

I noticed that my mom was not home so I only made lunch for him,

my mom works as a nurse at a local hospital down town so she works a lot, sometimes she would work the night shifts sometimes the morning shifts so I didn't see her as much.

She doesn't always come home for lunch but dad does, if he gets a chance to come home for lunch he does or he goes to a bar to drink then goes back to work. He fixes cars or something along those lines I don't really care to find out.

After I prepared lunch for him I went to my room and did my homework. When my stomach started to growl to the point where it got painful I closed my homework book and took deep breaths in homes to stop the pain.

My body was aching as usual but my stomach was hurting more then usual. Just what I needed.

I sigh.

After a few minutes of a painful, empty, complaining stomach I couldn't take it anymore so I went down stairs to sneak in anything really.

I got to the kitchen and started stuffing my face with bread.

Is it me or is bread just amazing.

I turned around only to be met by a very angry looking man....dad. oh crap
I dropped the piece of bread in my hands and started walking backwards while he was walking towards me.

"Didn't I tell you that you won't be eating today!?" He shouted angrily.

I didn't say anything

"Answer me dammit!!". He screamed in my face.

I won't lie I was scared.

"Y-yes you did...I'm sorry." I stattered out. I don't even know why I apologized, I mean I have a right to be hungry and satisfy that hunger...right?

Kick after kick, blow after blow, lossing and gaining consciousness until everything blurred and i didnt care anymore, when he left I couldn't even move so I just layed there and cried until I got the strength to lift myself up and go clean my wounds so they don't get an infection.

After I was done, I went to bed but I couldn't fall asleep because it was 6 and i was sore everywhere.

Sigh...

Why me, I've never done anything wrong to anyone even those who deserve it for example my dad.

Maybe it's the fact that I exist thats the problem, maybe my father didn't want me.

I couldn't live like this but I can't do anything about it, I can't even escape! I mean where would I go with no money, no food, no shelter...i can't leave
Why is this so complicated

Maybe I should just end it all, it's not like I would be making a difference anyway. My death is overdue.