The Monster.
You've heard of the monster under the bed...right?
But have you heard of the Monster... in my head?
It controls my life.
It makes me unhappy; it makes me cry. It makes me hate myself.
"Go on. Do it. It will make you feel better. I promise"
It tells me what to do.
I can't escape its voice. I can't... explain it. It's there. Everyday. All the time.
It's like a storm cloud over me, the rain pouring down on me... causing me nothing but misery, but everyone else has a smiling sun over them. Everyone is happy. But not me. Why can't it ever be me? The way I see it... my world is dark and everyone else is living all sunshine and rainbows.
It challenges me.
"Don't listen to her. She doesn't care".
"But... but I have to listen to her. S-she's my mum-".
"She doesn't love you".
"That's not true. Every mother loves their child".
"Not this one. She doesn't even love you. She's a monster. We hate her.... don't we?"
I believe everything it tells me. It feels like it... is my only friend. It... is the only one I can trust. It... won't turn its back on me, lie to me, HURT me.
The Monster in my head never stops talking. It tells me everything. It's like my seventh sense. The eyes at the back of my head. It warns me who is good and who is bad.
But then...
The Monster in my Head.
It's not real.
It's never been real.
So, I push it out of my mind.
It cries. It yells. It threatens me.
It is scared I'm going to leave it... in the shadows in my mind.
But it's not real.
I close my eyes.
And finally.... some peace and quiet. A storm cloud transformed into a cloud as soft as marshmallow above me.
I'm back... and I'm happy again.
