Until You

Mindy

I nearly died when I saw them together, her saying she wanted to be his girlfriend. She wasn't his cousin was she? She WAS his girlfriend. He cheated on her and me! I can't believe I believed him! He lied to me right there to my face. And lying, I don't take!

Tears pulled down my face as my phone started to ping. It was him. Calling back-to-back. Nope! Sorry. You are a liar! And I gave myself to him. I wanted to slap myself for it. For even giving him a chance. I thought he was real. I thought he was it. I thought he was mine.

I raced home and as I walked in the door my father saw my face. "What's wrong sweetheart?" He asked with concern.

"Nothing, just having a bad day I'll be alright dad." I didn't even stay to hear his response. I went upstairs, shut my door and threw myself on the bed and cried.

I turned my phone off and cried some more. I cried all night long.

The next morning I woke up late and tried to force breakfast down my throat. "Is everything alright sweetie?" Mom asked. She'd been looking worried all morning.

"I'm fine mom. I just had a really bad day yesterday and I don't want to talk about it, that's all." I said as I took a bite of out an apple. I probably looked like shit. My eyes all baggy, circles under them, I'd been crying all night over a guy! And that's not something I thought I'd ever do in my lifetime.

He lied to me. So this Angela was his girlfriend the whole time he was seeing me. He'd been playing both of us the whole time. I thought I knew him though. I felt so used, so disappointed in myself. How could I let it get that far? Why didn't I pick up any signs? Did I miss something of hers in the apartment? I had sex with him in their bed! Oh my god, I'm gonna throw up.

Just as I thought it, I went to the bathroom to dry heave. Nothing came out but I felt sick to my stomach. I went in my room and laid down. And then I looked over to my phone. Sitting on the flowered dresser looking all guilty.

I wasn't going to turn it on. I didn't want to see what he had to say. But I figured I was going to have to anyway because I had schoolwork saved on it. And I really was kind of curious. I grabbed my phone and turned it on. Immediately. 44 Missed calls. And--

"Mindy PLEASE answer me." 

"You misunderstood the situation. Please call me and I'll explain."

"Please call me she's not my girlfriend! PLEASE LET ME EXPLAIN!"

I just deleted the rest. If he could lie about her being a cousin he could be lying through his texts. So I blocked him. I tried to continue on with my day. I really did. But I was just too depressed. 

I'm not a virgin anymore. I gave myself to that, that! Go ahead Mindy say it! Nah, it's not me to call people names. Whatever we had at the time it was real. It was very real. That's why I don't understand. 

I got up and headed to the bathroom and drew a bath. I sat in the tub for a half hour just thinking. The water was getting cooler, I needed to wash up. When I washed my sacred area, the one I betrayed, I started to cry. And I couldn't stop the tears all the way until I had to get up and go to work.

Even that didn't help. I just felt lost. Heartbroken. Just done. How was I going to avoid him? What if he tried to come by? What was I going to do? I can't make a scene at my job. 

The day dragged on and I was suddenly tired. Tired of everything, and mostly tired of bullshit. "Hey what's up with you girl?" Jess asked. I hadn't shared lunch with her or barely spoke to her. I just wanted to be alone.

"Nothing, just tired. I was up late last night reading." I lied.

"You're not lying to me and it's not because of that guy is it?" She looked