Until You

Mindy

What the hell was I doing? I was doing everything I said I wasn't going to do. I practically threw myself at him. I wanted to take this slow. But he looked so good, it was just hard to resist. So I've got to be better tonight. I'm just going to make us a nice dinner and we can talk as friends. Because that's how it's supposed to be right now. Us just getting reacquainted as friends. I was so used to being on my own, I wasn't sure if I wanted a relationship yet. It's just hard when you love someone.

He showed up around 7pm. Perfect. I had chosen a chicken main course with vegetables. I had set the table far apart from each other, so that we could talk. I heard his truck stop and I waited for him to ring the bell. When the bell rang, I went to answer the door.

"Wow, you look amazing." He says. I was just in my comfortable clothes, nothing fancy. The compliment made me a little embarrassed so I giggled.

"Thanks, so do you." He was wearing his usual black clothing and boots. His tattoos were visible, as his sleeves were pushed up. 

"I got this for you." He handed me a daisy, my favorite. 

"It's beautiful." I put it to my nose.

"Not as beautiful as you are." Here we go, the same sentence that made me fall for him. I stopped smiling.

"Come on in." I led him to the dining room.

"It's smells amazing in here." I had to admit, it did smell pretty amazing.

"Sit, eat." As we started to eat I asked, "So how are you doing now that you are out of the shithouse?" He laughed.

"Very good, I got my job back, going to therapy and I am living in the cabin." He pointed his finger upwards, "Mike upstairs."

"I'm glad to hear that, Mike is still doing well with bartending?" I asked. I already knew this, but I was trying my best to make small talk and less awkwardness as possible.

"I think he found his passion." He smiled at me over the rim of his glass of tea. My gosh he stole my breath. I couldn't breathe.

"How about you?" He asked. All of a sudden, all his focus was on me. "How have you been?" I knew what he meant. How have I been not having my boyfriend around for a year.

"I've been good. I work a lot, and when I come home I pretty much chill." I sat my fork down. "I went out with Jess a few times at the club."

"You, clubbing?" He smirked, "Any guys grab you there?" I laughed.

"No, I didn't really like it, I'd rather be home in my pajamas, relaxing, you know." I looked back up at him from picking at my food.

"Yea, I do know." Because that is what we had used to loved doing together. It was silent for a while as we ate. And he threw his hands in the hair.

"Welp, I'm stuffed." I was too. He helped me clear the table and put the dishes in the dishwasher.

"You kept this place up really nice." He walked around a little and observed. He stopped at a picture of us in a frame on the mantel.

"That was when we-"

"When we were at the lake, I remember." He interrupted. As if it was too painful to remember, he walked over to the couch and sat down. I went and sat in the recliner chair. "Did you make this?" He asked pointing to a recent blanket I had learned to crochet.

"I did, I got this book at the library and decided I wanted to give it a try, what do you think?" I was curious what he thought since I spent a lot of time on it.

"Anything you make is the first, and the best." He always makes me smile. To hide my smile, I looked at the carpet. And then he suddenly blurted out.