His Girl

11 || Four strikes

"No," Gerard said.

None of us spoke for a while until I collected my thoughts. "No? What do you mean no?"

Gerard planted his hands on his waist and sighed. "You have to understand that I haven't done this in such a long time. I've been single for years, Hana. Too long if you ask me. I'm used to having pets, fucking women according to my terms. No emotions attached." Maybe it was his facial expression or his honesty but I calmed down a bit. "These things are kind of new to me."

"I'm not exactly a pro at it either."

For the first time, he smiled. "I fucked up."

"You did. Big time."

"I'm sorry. I should have called." I said nothing. He was quiet. I was crazy for still wanting him. Loving the wrong person could make a person seem so weak but he was willing to try. To do better. "Do you want to go on a date with me?" Sweeping a hand over his suit, he said, "I dressed for the date."

My head moved up and down in a nod. Was I giving in too easily? Cathie would be disappointed in me. Even this Joe guy. Dragging me to my feet, his arms locked around my waist and his forehead touched mine. My heart galloped. Joe wouldn't make my heart gallop like this. But he wasn't toxic.

"I got cold feet and used the meeting as an excuse to cover it up," he whispered. I knew not what to reply but I appreciated his honesty. Gerard tucked my hair behind my ear. "Was that your friend?"

"Cathie. She hates you. So much and she will hate me more for agreeing to this date." He chuckled and it annoyed me. He should be interested in being cool with my friends. "She was trying to set me up with this Joe guy." His grin disappeared but I didn't stop talking. "From what Cathie said, Joe sounds cool. He won't act like a jerk or stand me up." I smoothed the front of his jacket and he grew more tense. My lips quirked in a smile. "I was supposed to go see him but someone ruined that."

Gerard released me. There was a vulnerability I'd never seen before in his eyes. "Do you want to go?"

"It depends."

"On what?" he asked, his desperation obvious.

Toe to toe with him, I folded my arms on my chest. "On a lot of things you don't need to know."

"Then go. Have fun on your date."

A staring match followed. Gerard's gaze hardened and I wanted more than anything to slap him, then slap myself so I could walk away or ask him to leave. This thing we were doing was horrible, toxic and I was hurting the most. He couldn't even fight for me.

"I hate you," I told him. "You're a horrible person."

One step forward and Gerard cupped my cheek. "I understand why you hate me and you have every reason to but I'm trying to make it up to you." His lips touched mine in a brief kiss. "I'm sorry, Hana."

"Sorry is not good enough."

"Then let's go on a date. Isn't that what you have always wanted?" My stupid self was in tears again. He needed to do more to win me over. I sniffed and he kissed my nose. "I came prepared for it."

After what felt like forever, a sigh escaped me. One date. We would go on this date and if it ended on a bad note, I could say my final good-byes to him.

"Alright. Wait outside, I need to change."

His laughter came out of nowhere and his shoulders shook. What was so funny?

"I should go outside?" he asked, and I nodded. He arched a brow. "Why? I've seen you naked before. A lot of times." My head cocked to the side. His lips pulled into a thin smile and he nodded. "Fine. Outside it is."