Love Behind The Camera!

18.

Lexa : well I met Costia in high school , she was the new girl and she became popular girl in a week , I thought she's gonna be mean but she really wasn't , in fact she was the only one who really loved to hang out with me for me but not because I was the rich kid

Clarke : you were the rich kid?

Lexa : really Clarke?

" Clarke giggled "

Clarke : sorry continue

Lexa : anyway , every one in my school knew that I'm a lesbian , some of them actually hated hanging out with me , Cos came out to me on 11th grade , we were studying for the finals in my house and she just said it , I wasn't really surprised because I've always seen the way she looked at Vicki

Clarke : Vicki?

Lexa : not a very important person but she was Costia's crush , anyway we dated on our second year of collage , she cheated on me two years ago with a girl she knew

Clarke : oh that bitch

" Lexa looked at her "

Clarke : sorry...

Lexa : it's okay

" Lexa cleared her throat "

Lexa : we broke up and then got back together after two months

Clarke : you forgave her?

Lexa : yes , I never told anyone about this but it was the biggest mistake of my life

Clarke : of course it is

Lexa : I mean I still love her , I do , but I'm not in love with her

Clarke : yeah I get it , she really messed up

Lexa : I have been trying to ignore the fact that she doesn't love me anymore for months , but I do see it , and I know that she doesn't love me but I don't want my heart to get broken again

" Lexa's voice shook with sadness , a tear rolled down her cheek "

Clarke : hey

" Clarke hugged tightly "

Clarke : you should know that if a bitch breaks your heart once , she doesn't deserve you , I'm a little annoyed that you gave her a second chance when you knew that she's gonna blow it all over again but I know you did it because you're so fucking kind and sweet and it's annoying as fuck , but it's also what makes you who you are and it's one of the reasons that I really , really like you Alexandra woods , but I can't help but think what if I was in Costia's place? Would you forgive me? Would I get a second chance? Because I know for sure that i would blow my first one , even if it was unintentional , because I am a mess , and no one in the fucking universe deserves you , not even Clarke griffin

" Lexa wiped her tears off and looked at Clarke "

Clarke : I hate admitting this , but for some reason every time I look you , I feel like this is it , I'm definitely keeping this one , but then I realize how fucking sweet you are and I take a step back , because at some point I know that I'll hurt and I'm seriously hating myself for it , but I still can't help but think how fucking hot we'll look together and omg I just confessed everything.....

" Lexa chuckled softly and wiped her tears off again "

Lexa : I'm glad you did , I've been thinking the same , to me the only thing that's stopping me is Costia and Josie , I can't believe that I actually felt horrible for cheating on her but then I realized that she's definitely doing the same and I've been avoiding it for years , and she never actually loved me