~Letters~

From Miles to Alaska

Dear Alaska,

I'm here, cigarette in hand, trying to understand you.
And it surely isn't easy, trust me.
Sometimes you're in and sometimes you're out, or you're not here at all.
I always thought you were some kind of hurricane, but I'm starting to think that maybe you were just a wave in the great big ocean, a drop of rain in a storm: it's not that you aren't important, because you are (damn, you are), but the world goes on anyway, even if you're not there. That's sad, but at the same time, it is exactly what you wanted.
But what are your last words Alaska? How can I really know who you are if you don't have ones?
Maybe you don't need them, maybe you're just a mystery that has to remain like that, untold.
But as I said, you can't just make me different and leave. It's not right.
Why did you have the chance to change me and instead I didn't? You should have let me in before it was too late. Because it's true, we were in love with cities we'd never been to, and people we'd never met, but I met you. You were real. You could have been my great Perhaps.
I just wanted to be as close to you as I could! But no, something out there chose for us, chose to divide us!
I smoke to die too, now.
I understand your point.
There are things in life you can't fight, because you know you can't win. I don't think one has to surrender, or give up: but loss is so unbearable.
And there's nothing you can do against that, it's like punching a wall made of steel: it doesn't matter how hard you try, you'll never ever scratch it. And after a while you just are too tired to go on, so you let go.
And how hard and painful it is to let go: it's even worse when you gave all you had.
I can't go on now, I'm watching the sky as the stars shine, and this moment, right here, right now, reminds me so much of you.
Your face.
Your grin.
Your whole.
And I'm just plain dizzy in a world of hurricanes.
Love,
Miles

"Soooo, I haven't finished Looking for Alaska yet, but I wanted to write something short about it. Do you like it? Love yaaaaaa! Rebs!"