~Letters~

From Tris to Four

BIG SPOILER ALERT

Dear Four,

How is it going? Are you still mad at me?
I hope you're not.
I hope you've forgiven me, my behaviour, and all the people around you, because I know you still blame them for my death.
I'm happy here, you know. Well, not as happy as I could have been for example carrying our son, but a kind of.
And if you're wondering, yes, we would have had a baby boy: I know that because when I was dying, I saw his face as a memory of what I was going to lose.
If I had to go back in time, I don't know whether I'd do the same or not.
And that's just because I love you so much, and I miss everything of you: your kisses, your tenderness only for me, your voice, you. I miss you.
Mom's here with me, even though I don't know where "here" is.
I'm not sure if this is paradise, but I surely don't deserve to be treated so well: I left the ones I loved behind when they needed me the most; I broke a promise, your promise; I acted without thinking about the consequences.
That's why I don't deserve to be here.
But anyway, let me tell you something: I'm dead Four, get over it. Go find someone who can take care of you! Go help people! Go and do exactly what I would do if I were right beside you. But you know I can't be there physically, so you have to find someone you can trust, and start a new life.
I won't come back, can't you see?
I will never leave this place I'm in, this is no simulation.
And be mad, hate me, even. But this is the hard truth you don't want to realise.
I'll patiently wait for you, of that you can be sure.
But you've got a life worth fighting for, don't waste it because of me, because of someone you just couldn't let go.
And I know pain won't stop, because that's something we can't control, but you do can find other ways of using it to help others recover from the already bad situation.
Be the leader you've never been in Dauntless and put an end to this.
I would have called him Ten, by the way.
Tell Caleb I love him.
Tris

"Not really long, but I'm really tired and I've just finished writing it. Sorry
-Rebs"