~Letters~

From Savannah to John

"People!
I'm here again ahah (sorry guys if I made you wait this long before writing a new letter, but you know, school!
Anyway, I just wanted to tell you that this letter is from Dear John (woah Rebs, way to go) and it's settled before the end. Well let's say this letter has to be put in the middle of the book/movie!
Thanks for being the amazing readers you are!
See you soon,
Rebs!"

Dear John,

I should've told you earlier.
I should've told you that it wasn't true that I didn't love you anymore.
Yes, I found another man. But you've known him since you've known me, and I guess I didn't want to tell you because you would have overreacted: and by that I mean even more than you already did.
The last letter I wrote you, do you remember what it said?
I do.
I told you I couldn't do it anymore, with you being thousands miles away for god knows how long. But, truth is, I was scared, John. I was scared because I loved you so much, and if I lost you, then I would never have been the same. You risk your own life everyday, it's your duty and I understand, but that doesn't mean I can accept it straight away like it's nothing to me. Like it doesn't bother me.
If you think I haven't thought of you since that letter, then you're wrong.
You are the first thing that pops into my mind when I wake up, and the last before drifting off to sleep.
I bet it's because I still love you in the same way I used to, and even though I'm married now, I know no other man can make me feel the way you did: with you, it was like I felt love for the first and last time.
Now, I've got a son to look after.
But I would be lying if I said that I've never pictured in my head how he or she would look like, our child. Would he have your smile? Would she have my hair?
Do you remember the first day we met, at the beach? When you rescued my purse like a damsel in distress?
I wish we could rewind and at some point, maybe you and I looking at the stars, just press pause and never go on. Because I miss you. I miss everything of you.
I miss the rain pouring down and the two of us kissing like it was the best and brightest day of our lives.
I miss playing the guitar and singing to you while you just listened without saying a word.
I miss eating lasagna with your dad and talking about coins.
Why can't I have it back?
I feel stupid, and so unworthy.
I had you, and yet, I let you slip away.
You're probably going on with your life, maybe you've found a girl better than the one I was and still am. If this new life makes you happy, then I'm happy too, because you've found something you deserve. If it doesn't, well, I can't really tell you what to do with your life anymore, I lost that right when I sent you that letter. But what I can still say is that it doesn't matter where you are, nor if you're on the other side of the ocean: the moon will be same for me and for you too.
So if you're feeling lonely, just look up and see if you can cover it with your thumb the same way I'm doing right now.

Love,
Savannah