~Letters~

-From Clary to Jonathan/Sebastian-

Dear Jonathan ,

I know it sounds strange, but I'm writing this because I thought that if I let go of the pain, it would stop hurting so much.

You were the big brother I never had the chance to meet; the boy who should have been there to beat up whoever annoyed me; the shoulder to cry on; the one who knew everything about me.

But that's not how it went.

Valentine separated us before we even had the possibility to meet.

I wish I could tell you that I love you, but I can't: you hurt me and the ones I love too much for my own sake.

Just know that in some kind of way, you would have been a great brother.

Why? Because when I saw your green eyes, I understood that you were the missing part of me. You were a piece of my soul that I thought was gone for good, and instead, just by looking at you, I knew that you've always been there, and that you'll always be.

You wanted love, but you didn't understand why it was and is so hard to give. Let me tell you that it's even harder to see your heart handed back with scratches and bruises. There's a song that actually says:" Loving can hurt, loving can hurt sometimes [...]" .

And it's true. Damn, if that's not true, nothing is. But that's the thing: you love because you can't live without it, even when it means feeling heartbroken.

And now, I don't know what to feel about you.

I wish I could have known you better, helped you find out how love really works and what it really means.

But fate chose otherwise, and I hope that wherever you are, you don't feel alone: I'll be there for you, just remember this.

Erchomai, Jonathan.

Erchomai.

Love,

Clary

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