To Go Unseen (A Natasha Romanoff Story)

45 [a hospital? somewhere?]

Natasha was grateful not to wake up alone. That was the first thing she thought as she slowly came back into consciousness to feel metal fingers wrapped around hers, and then after that, she thought about the pain. It was everywhere, hidden under a medicated numbness, and she felt undeniably spent.

She groaned quietly and opened her eyes and, to her shock, she saw Clint Barton in front of her. She stared ahead at him for a second, certain she was imagining things. Then, she began to hear James’ voice and she looked over to him, sitting next to her diligently, wrapping her fingers up in his, tears beginning to spill down his cheeks. He was talking.

“You found me,” she said quietly.

“I’ve got you,” he said to her, and then… Steve? Steve was sitting next to James. Natasha looked at Steve, and then back at James and then back to Clint at the end of her bed. She watched him hurry over, grab another chair and sit himself on her other side. She stared at him, speechless, then looked back at James.

“Why are they here?!” She cried.

“They… They were worried about you,” James said weakly, then he bit his lip and started to wipe his cheeks. “I’m sorry, Talia, but I’m not you. I couldn’t just tell them not to come.”

“Good to see you, too, Nat,” Clint said awkwardly and she looked over at him again and sucked in a breath at the pain in her head when she moved it too fast. She took her hand back from James and reached up to feel gauze stretched across her forehead underneath strands of short red hair and medical tape across her nose. She looked down and took catalogue of her injuries. Her right forearm was wrapped tightly in gauze and a plastic cast of some sort and all she could feel in it was the numbness, so deep as though it wasn’t even there to feel anymore. She couldn’t see under the sheets and that awful hospital gown, but she was sure she was covered in bruises. She remembered Yelena’s knee hitting her in the gut, slamming into her ribcage, and almost winced. When whatever they were pumping her with wore off, she’d really feel it.

“I-,” she said. “It’s not that I’m not glad to see you, Clint,” she continued and frowned. “It’s just that… I’m not glad to see you.”

“You couldn’t make less sense if you were talking to me in Russian,” he said, clearly disgruntled.

“Natasha, what happened?” Steve leaned over and said. Natasha looked back and forth from him to James and James shrugged one shoulder.

“They know everything I know,” he said. “Which right now, isn’t as much as I’d like it to be.” Natasha let out a breath.

“SHIELD got news of Belova,” she admitted. “When you and I got back to the hotel yesterday.”

James stared at her for a moment, as though he couldn’t understand.

A quiet second passed and Natasha let him fill in the blanks himself.

“Y-You left without me,” he whispered and she closed her eyes and nodded, careful with the throbbing headache in the front of her skull. “You fought her alone. Alone.”

“Yes,” Natasha said. “But you don’t understand, James, I had to go alone. I had to give her the benefit of the doubt.”

“What are you talking about??” James said and Natasha bit her lip and her eyes shifted over to Clint and back again and James frowned, looking confused, but Natasha knew that Clint understood. He groaned and leaned forward, putting his elbows on Natasha’s mattress and leaning in to her.

“Aww, geez, Nat,” he cried. “That was different!”

“Not so different,” Natasha replied. “I just wanted to give her the opportunity. It’s only fair.”

“What, to… To quit?” Steve asked. “Like you??”

“What?” James cried.

“Now don’t all of you look at me like I’m some sort of idiot,” Natasha replied defensively, because she could see way none of them truly understood. “It was only fair. It was only what you would have done too in my position; all of you!” She looked around them, her eyes harsh because she wanted them to be. “I wouldn’t be here if Clint hadn’t given me a chance.”

“It wasn’t like that,” Clint said and Natasha glared at him.

“It was exactly like that,” she said. “It didn’t work, clearly. But the point is that I tried.”

“She could have killed you,” James breathed. “She nearly did.”

“But I got out,” Natasha said and suddenly, James jumped to his feet.

“We gotta switch cities,” he said quickly. “Gotta cover our tracks. Now. She’s got a step in front of us, now we have to hide.” He looked down at her, his eyes still red with tears. “You can finish up healing in another hospital, far away from here, hidden.” Natasha opened her mouth and James’ eyes hardened. “Don’t argue! You know she’ll be coming, to finish up the job! She’s probably already here. I’ll bet she’s just waiting for Steve and Clint and I to leave to the room so she can do something horrible.”

“I’m not arguing, calm down!” Natasha cried back.

“If you hadn’t lied to me about it,” he said, his voice escalating, desperate. She swallowed as he slipped into Russian, which he was prone to do and she usually didn’t think about it much, but right now, it seemed important. “If you’d let us work together! Like a team! Like we’re supposed to be! Maybe you’d be okay, Natalia!”