As soon as the door shut behind him, Bucky immediately dialed Clint Barton on his cell phone.
“Uhh,” the answer came after a few rings. “This Natasha?”
“No,” Bucky said and began to walk down the hall, pulling his collar up around his face in preparation for the cold outside. “No, this is Bucky.”
“Oh.” Clint sounded surprised. “Sorry, I guess I just… You don’t really call me to chat, Barnes,” he explained himself awkwardly.
“This isn’t just a chat,” Bucky said and frowned. “It’s about Natasha.” Clint was quiet for a moment.
“The thing Steve was telling me about,” he said and trailed off.
“Yeah,” Bucky said. “That thing.” He sighed and looked around him, as though he expected Natalia to be right behind him. “She insists on being secretive about it. I doubt she would have even told me if I hadn’t already been here.”
“What’s going on?” Clint said and Bucky hesitated. He glanced back again in the direction of the hotel room.
“Nothing we can’t handle,” he said. “Ask Steve about it.”
“Then why did you call me?” Clint asked. He sounded as though he was starting to get irritated.
“I wanted to know if you’d ever seen Natalia, uh…,” Bucky frowned. “Stress out.”
There was a fast food restaurant just down the street and Bucky was a little afraid to be out completely alone, given his past experiences with being jumped, but they had to eat and he was distracted by Clint. After all, he thought. It was a big city, and an alive one. There were people everywhere and they couldn’t all be Red Room goons.
He left the hotel and crossed the street and made his way to the restaurant.
“What do you mean, stress out?!” Clint exclaimed and Bucky sucked in a breath.
“She’s not acting like herself,” he said. “She’s, uh, having nightmares and she’s getting irritable and she won’t do anything with me. All she does is work on figuring out this, this, uh, thing all day. And it’s not good for her.”
“Oh,” Clint said. “Wow.”
“Yeah,” Bucky agreed. “It’s terrible and I’m at a loss. So I figured, I mean, you know her really well. Thought I’d ask you for advice. Is there anything I can do to help her? Calm her down? She’s just got me worried.”
“I dunno,” Clint admitted. He was silent for a moment, and during this time, Bucky got into the restaurant and ordered something to go from the counter. He surveyed the restaurant. No staring people. Without thinking, he tugged his sleeve down further over his left arm. “You said she was having nightmares?” Clint said.
“Yeah,” Bucky replied.
“What were they about?” He asked and Bucky pressed his mouth together.
“I don’t know,” he admitted. “She wouldn’t tell me.”
“Well, whatever it is, you gotta get her mind off it for a while,” Clint said. “That’s what I used to do, when she got back from Russia and, I dunno, she was pretty stressed out then. I’d talk to her or take her out or put on music or something.”
“I’ve tried,” Bucky said. “I tried to get her out to dinner tonight and she refused.”
“If she’s refusing you, I’m not sure what else you can do,” Clint replied. Then, “You’re being good to her, right?”
“What?” Bucky replied. “What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“Nothing,” Clint said. “You were saying?”
“Just…,” Bucky said slowly, suspiciously. “Just that she’s in a bad place. And I want to make her happy.” You’re being good to her, right? Pfft! Of course he was! Who did Barton think he was, insinuating that somehow Bucky would mistreat Natalia??
“What else is she doing?” Clint asked.
“She’s got a shorter fuse than usual,” Bucky said. “It’s uncharacteristic. She doesn’t talk much.”
“Wow,” Clint said again.
“And the secrets, Clint,” he added and used his free hand to rub his face tiredly. “I can’t even be sure she’s not keeping something from me right now! Were you ever able to get her to be open with you?”
“I think you’re going about it wrong,” Clint said. “If you wanna love Nat, you just have to accept that there will be things you’ll never know about her.”
Bucky was stunned to hear this answer.
“What?” He said.
“Sorry Barnes, but that’s who Nat is. Take her or leave her,” Clint said.
“That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard,” Bucky replied. “What, so you’re saying you just let her isolate herself? You let her keep all these secrets? Tell all these lies?”
“Um, yeah,” Clint said back hotly. “I did. And she appreciated that I trusted her.”
“I trust her!” Bucky replied and he was beginning to feel rather angry himself. “Of course I trust her!”
“Then trust that she can take care of herself,” Clint said back.
“That’s not what friendship and love is about,” Bucky replied through gritted teeth. “She doesn’t have to take care of herself alone while I’m around.”
“You don’t have to know everything about her to love her!” Clint yelled.
“Is it seriously so wrong for me to want to know the woman I love?!” Bucky yelled back.
“Back off of her!” Clint cried. “You’re probably the reason she’s so stressed! Cause you’re on her back all the damn time with your questions!”
“Take that back!” Bucky growled.
“You can’t understand Natasha Romanoff, Barnes,” Clint said back.
“I’m sorry you couldn’t keep her,” Bucky said sharply. “But I’m not going to let Natalia cut me out like this!! I’m not going to let her keep herself a secret to me until she’s just faded away, like what probably happened with you two!”
The next thing Bucky heard was the beeping of the line dropped on the other end and he scowled and snapped his phone closed and crammed it into his pocket.
“Barton,” he growled to himself and when his food was ready, he took it and stormed angrily back to the hotel room, no better off than before.
YOU ARE READING
To Go Unseen (A Natasha Romanoff Story)
FanfictionA Natasha Romanoff and Winter Widow story. Completed. Third book in the three part 'Run' series. First title is 'Run' and second is 'Ready Set Breathe'. Also found on FF.net and AO3 Rated for some violence