To Go Unseen (A Natasha Romanoff Story)

31 [thrift store in Houston]

More shopping became a necessity, and more buying, because they’d left everything they had in Nebraska. Bucky could feel the costs adding up and tension built in his heart. Admittedly, his memories of the Great Depression were patchy, but the anxiety clearly remained and he caught himself counting pennies and wondering if there was any possible way they could spend less. He had memories of his mother doing the same eighty years ago.

He knew logically that Natalia must be somewhat right. They were pretty well-off and money wasn’t usually a problem and the odds that SHIELD would help were good, but he couldn’t help but feel scared. He had even begun to save up receipts and he hated to feel so high-strung, but everything was adding up and he hadn’t expected it.

It surprised him to realize that they’d been out for eight days. They should have been home by now, should have been back to Steve by now. Steve needed them, needed their support. Bucky made a mental note to call him later and check up. But for now, he was out at a thrift store with Natalia, hanging a few used shirts off his forearm and telling himself not to look at the price tags.

Natalia held up another t-shirt in front of her and then turned around and held it up to Bucky, draping it over his shoulders to determine the fit.

“This is good…,” she muttered to herself and hung it on his arm with the rest of their clothes.

“I wish we hadn’t had to leave everything,” he mentioned.

“Easier for travelling,” she replied thoughtfully as she turned around and picked another shirt off the rack.

“Easier for running,” he said spitefully and she looked up at him.

“Belova probably had all that stuff tagged and tracked,” she said. “Remember, it had been in her hands when she kidnapped us. We couldn’t have kept it any longer.” Bucky sighed and didn’t want to respond because he knew she was right.

Natalia picked out a few of the cleanest-looking shirts and pants for herself as well and took it all to the counter to pay, with Bucky behind her like a shadow. He trained his eyes on the floor because he knew if he’d look up, he’d see himself six or seven months ago, nervously stealing clean things off the shelves and trying to keep his face and his hand hidden. He didn’t want to remember it anymore than he already did, the period after Hydra, but before Steve. It had been difficult, to say the least, and unfamiliar places and cheap hotels and dirty thrift stores brought the memories back vividly.

At least he wasn’t alone this time, he told himself.

Natalia found an old, giant carpet bag and paid for it as well and crammed their new purchases into it as they walked out. Bucky took the receipt, but told himself not to look. Instead, he crumbled it in his left hand and crammed it into his back pocket.

On the way back to the hotel, they passed shops and store fronts and Bucky made an effort to engage Natalia, pointing things out and trying to make jokes and window shop with her. He wanted her mind off Belova and his mind off six months ago.

They passed a bridal shop. Bucky forgot to keep walking.

He stared into the window wistfully until Natalia turned around and came back for him, the carpetbag swinging at her side and her newly cut bangs teased by a cold wind.

“What are you looking at?” She asked and he looked down at her.

“Nothing,” he said and she slipped her free hand into his, twining their fingers together and suddenly, he couldn’t help but imagine a ring on her hand and he swallowed. “Nothing, just… It’s stupid.”

Natalia glanced over at the shop and he felt suddenly all too aware and anxious, like one does when they know someone is recognizing something in them. When Natalia looked back over, she’d already hidden her original reaction under a playful grin.