To Go Unseen (A Natasha Romanoff Story)

5 [moving out of Zanesville]

The next day was distinctly normal. There were no staring people, or suspicious cars on the road. They were a little behind schedule, but made almost no effort to make up for it. Instead, they stopped at tourist traps along the way and ate burgers at sit-down restaurants and Bucky loved to watch Natalia laugh at his jokes and smile at him. Sometimes, he still couldn’t believe how utterly perfect she was. Frankly, he didn’t think he deserved her.

“This is fun,” he said to her. They were sitting down inside a restaurant for dinner, shedding layers of jackets and hats and teasing each other. “This is better than yesterday, right?”

Natalia smiled at Bucky and he watched her smile a little begrudgingly and roll her eyes.

“Yeah,” she agreed. “It is.”

In fact, Natasha had been surprised at how much fun she could have. In the conception and planning of this, she supposed she’d forgotten that James was her boyfriend and she could do more than just shield him from what might scare him. They could have fun together, enjoy each other’s company, and although she felt hesitant, she began to feel herself relaxing. Relaxing into the way James’ face lit up and the stupid jokes he made that sent her into stitches, relaxing into the smell of his skin mingled with the faint metallic scent of vibranium, into the way he kissed her tenderly until she kissed him back so forcefully, there was nothing he could do but retaliate. She could feel herself falling into that love with him, considering that maybe falling in love wasn’t a thing that happened once and then you were in love and it was done. Falling in love was probably a continual action, something that kept happening and didn’t stop happening and Natasha Romanoff was falling in love with James Buchanan Barnes. She had been for a while.

As she considered this, she looked up at James and studied the angles of his face, the light against his hair, just barely long enough to cover the tips of his ears now, and fall into his face when he looked down. She watched him until he looked back up at her and smiled gently. She could feel the corner of her mouth rising.

“Hello, James,” she said and his smile grew a little.

“Hello, Natalia,” he replied in Russian. Then, “You’re glad we’re here?”

“Yeah,” she said back. “I’m glad.”

It wasn’t a nice restaurant. There was no candle light or waiters in suits and James was still wearing the same shirt from yesterday and Natasha hadn’t even bothered to put conditioner in her hair, but she didn’t really care. She reached across the table and took the one hand that he had laid on the table, the metal one, hidden under sleeves and gloves, and she could feel him smiling at her.

“What?” He said and let her take his hand.

“I’m not hungry,” she said. “Wanna leave?” James was laughing at her now, because he knew what she was implying, and she looked up and suddenly she was laughing too, and he leaned across the table and even though they were in public, he cupped her chin with his gloved hand and kissed her mouth. She kissed him back and reached up both hands to run through his hair.

They left before the manager kicked them out, climbed into the car, and found their hotel quickly.

It was fun, kissing him and being touched by him, and they could hardly take themselves seriously, laughing with each other as Natasha pushed James up against the wall right next to their hotel room and kissed him passionately, one hand flat against the wall behind them and one hand traveling from his hair to his face to his chest to his waist.

“Come on,” he muttered, breathless, through kisses. He was smiling. “Let’s at least get into the room.”

Every second without a hand on him seemed too long and Natasha got the door open fast enough and shoved him inside. He grabbed her by the waist and drew her to him and bent down to kiss down her neck. Her hands were slipping underneath his shirt and sliding across his chest and he pulled away from her for just a second to help her tear off his t-shirt and gloves. She pulled off her own t-shirt and dropped it by their feet and slung her arms around his neck. It wasn’t slow. It was frantic and wild, like their time was limited and they couldn’t stand another minute apart. It was exciting. It was fun.

“I’m falling in love with you,” she whispered to him. He kissed the side of her face, then the other side, then her mouth and her chin and her forehead.

“What, is this a new thing?” He asked and grinned and she was suddenly serious and she shook her head and he leaned in to kiss her again, but she stopped him and grabbed his face and rubbed her thumb across his cheek. Everything slowed and she looked at him, the pout in his mouth, the light in his eyes and both of them half naked. His hands on her waist relaxed just a bit and for a moment, everything stopped. All she could hear was their breathing and the silence underneath that and she let it ring for a few poignant seconds.

“Listen to me,” she said and she leaned forward and pressed her forehead to his and then pulled back to look into his eyes again. “Listen.”

“I’m listening,” James whispered.

“I. Love. You,” she said, punctuating each word with a kiss to his lips. She moved her hands slowly up his face and tangled her fingers in his hair.

“I love you, too,” he said.

“Stay with me,” she said back, her voice breathy, still no higher than a whisper. “Stay.”

“Okay,” he said.

“Promise me you’ll never leave,” she said. He looked down at her and she watched his eyes go back and forth across her face. He moved his hands across her bare back until he was holding her even closer, pressed together tightly and he bit his lip.

“I promise you,” he replied.

“Let me keep you,” she said.

“I’m yours,” he said.

“I love you,” she said again. “I’ll never stop falling in love with you.”

“I’ll love you forever,” James replied and he was smiling and she was smiling because it was cheesy and romantic and corny and because she never thought she’d be able to say that to anyone. Not like this. “Til death do us part.” Natasha couldn’t even try to stop the smiling now and she studied his sweet face before attacking him again with kisses and her hands, wandering.

“Good to know,” she said as he began to kiss her back. Good to know you love me. “In a world full of lies.”