To Go Unseen (A Natasha Romanoff Story)

16 [Nebraska]

Later that day, James had moved back up to the front seat, but he was leaning his arms against the dashboard and putting his face in his hands and he didn’t talk. Natasha put on music, something quiet and calm to fill the silence and she looked at him.

She was worried, of course she was. And she felt in her that desperate, dead-end franticness, the kind that squeezed her heart and brought her consistently to the verge of crying because she didn’t know what she could do to help him.

She couldn’t send him back. Belova would target him, like she’d promised, and Natasha wouldn’t be there to take a bullet for him. She couldn’t ask for help because all her friends were on a blacklist, with little red dots on their backs. She was at a loss, but James was hurting like he hadn’t in months and she’d hoped he’d never have to again.

This is all my fault, she thought frequently, as hard as she tried to dispel the negative thoughts.

Natasha reached over and put her hand on James’ hunched back and he flinched ever so slightly and she bit her lip.

“James,” she said gently and he lifted his head. “We have to ditch this car. It’s probably been tagged.”

“We’ll have to pay for it,” he replied.

“SHIELD will help,” she said. “Don’t worry about it.”

“What are we gonna do without a car?” James asked.

“We’ll take a plane,” Natasha replied, and then instructed, “There’s a map in the glove compartment. Find somewhere you’d like to go to relax and we’ll go there.” He stared at her, those round, brown eyes. “We’ll dig our heels in, wait for Belova to catch up to us and turn the tables. No more running.”

“Do you think that’s a good idea?” James asked.

I think it’s what could make you happiest, Natasha thought.

“Yeah,” she replied. “We aren’t gonna play Belova’s little cat and mouse game.”

James opened the glove compartment and unfolded the ancient paper map and began to study it. She glanced at him, taking relief in the fact that he had something to keep him occupied now besides the torment that depressed him.

“Do you like beaches?” He asked her after a minute and she nodded. “That could be nice.”

“Find a beach, then,” she said and she glanced over at the map and started to try to smile carefully at him. She reached over and pointed at the paper. “Look, there, if you want something still cold, there’s Maine. Or California, that’ll be warm. And Florida, people like it there. It’ll be hot in Florida.”

“Hmm,” James said thoughtfully.

“Have you ever had authentic Mexican food?” Natasha continued, trying to draw a smile out of him. She prodded a finger at the paper again at Texas. “We could sit by the Gulf of Mexico and eat the best tacos you’ve ever had.” There it was, something of a smile on his face. At the very least, the pain relaxed out of his features. He glanced over at her and it seemed as though he couldn’t help but smile gently back at her.

“I couldn’t object to that,” he admitted and Natasha grinned, a signature half-smile.

“Find a place somewhere remote,” she said. “All to us. Just you and me and hot sand.”

“And tacos,” James added and she laughed.

“And bathing suits,” she continued.

“I’ll kiss you,” he said.

“You could kiss me now,” Natasha said flirtingly. “Please, don’t wait until we’re on a beach to kiss me.” James laughed and Natasha relaxed.

“You’d have to pull over,” he said.

“What, just to kiss me??” Natasha played innocently, pouting her lips at him and he grinned at her, biting his bottom lip and he was distracted from everything, staring at her mouth. To be honest, she was becoming pretty distracted as well. It was easy, all too easy, to lose herself in the sexy way he bit his lip and his round, puppy dog eyes under just-too-long strands of brown hair. She wanted to run her hands through it.

“To kiss you like I want to, yes,” James said and Natasha pretended to scoff. She wished she didn’t have to take her eyes off him to look at the road.

“Why, Mr. Barnes!” She cried and put a hand against her chest in mock surprise and he laughed again. “What are you suggesting?”

They did pull over, and he reached out and caressed her cheek with his cool, metal fingers as he leaned in and pressed his lips slowly to hers. She scooted closer to him and splayed her fingers across his face, rough with just the beginning of stubble. Unfortunately, however, in the passenger’s seat of a car, it was impossible to wrap around each other and kisses were limited to faces, and hands were limited to chests and waists, but it didn’t stop them.

“So Texas it is,” Natasha said as she kissed his face. “That’s where we’ll deal with Belova, get it over with, and then just relax.”

“Yeah,” James breathed. He had found himself too busy reaching down to kiss her face and her neck to really say much else.

“I’ve never had sex on a beach before,” Natasha said and she took his hands and put them on her waist.

“Me either,” James said, pulling her closer, sliding his hands up her back.

“First time for everything,” Natasha said and James had to stop kissing her for a second to laugh.

They continued like this for another good few minutes before Natasha finally grabbed James’ face and stopped him, smiling.

“No, no, we have to get back on the road, we can’t keep making out like teenagers,” she said.

“Seemed like a good idea to me,” James mumbled and Natasha grinned and leaned back into her seat and took off from the shoulder back into the road. James was still holding one of her hands and she let him keep it, feeling the way he ran small circles over her skin and kissed her palm.

“Thanks,” he whispered after a while, once he’d given her her hand back. She glanced at him and he was turned to her, looking at her. “I know what you’re doing, distracting me. Just… Thanks.”

“Oh, don’t thank me,” Natasha teased. “I’m really being selfish. Honestly, I’ll jump on any excuse to kiss you silly, Barnes.” She could feel him smiling at her.