To Go Unseen (A Natasha Romanoff Story)

34 [hotel room]

That night, Natasha fell into bed with James and let herself be wrapped up in him. She loved his warmth and how comforting his presence was, especially now when she felt so… So indescribably terrible. She didn’t often dwell on her past because she hated it, but she was beginning to now and it was making her feel downright crummy. Well, to be honest, she’d been feeling pretty awful for the past few days. This wasn’t new.

And so she turned off all the lights and grabbed James and begged him to cuddle her. He didn’t need much coaxing and he took her face and kissed her and turned off the lamp behind them and they were drowned in darkness.

They lay together in the dark for a long time and Natasha wasn’t even trying to sleep, not yet. She was just enjoying the warmth and the comfort and the safety of James’ body up against hers when he spoke.

“Hey Natalia,” James whispered quietly after a while and Natasha shifted and hummed. Their fingers were interlocked in front of her and she rubbed his hand gently.

“Mhmm?” She said.

“Do you like flowers?” He asked and Natasha smiled a little, amused. Then, she remembered. It was February-Valentine’s Day. She cursed in her head.

“No,” she said.

“Oh,” James replied quietly. And then, “How about those little heart-shaped chocolates, with the red boxes?”

“Cliche,” Natasha said and opened her eyes and pulled her other hand out from under her to place on top of his, rubbing her thumb back and forth across the back of his hand so his hand was sandwiched between both of hers. It was the flesh one, he could feel it, and she considered kissing his fingers. After all, she wasn’t mad, about the Valentines thing. She just dreaded it.

“Romantic comedies?” James said and Natasha nearly snorted as she tried to hold in her laughter. He was too cute.

“They’re rarely funny,” she said and James gave another small, disappointed, “Oh.”

“James,” Natasha said, turning around just a little so she could see his face as he propped himself up behind her. She smirked at him playfully. “Do you like romantic comedies?” James looked away then and Natasha laughed out loud and she relished the warm feeling inside her that swelled as she adored her boyfriend.

It may have been simple, but this was probably the best night Natasha had had in the past few days. No tension and no stress and no Belova and no nothing. Just James and silly romance. She liked that.

“I haven’t seen any of the modern ones, but…,” James answered her, embarrassed, and Natasha reached up to draw a finger across his jaw line and bring his face back to her so she could reach up and kiss his mouth.

“I’d watch them for you,” she said sweetly. “But only for you.” James smiled back at her, beamed, really, and Natasha relaxed back down into his arms, but she didn’t turn this time because she was content laying there, looking up at his face, so close she could feel his heart beating.

“Do you want to do anything for-” James said and Natasha stopped him then.

“No,” she said. “No, I… I don’t like Valentine’s Day,” she admitted and James looked concerned.

“Why?” He said and she shrugged as best as she could snuggled up tightly against his chest.

“It’s cheesy,” she said. “Everyone thinks it’s this big romantic thing, but what’s so great about it anyway?” James tried not to look disappointed, but Natasha recognized the pout in his mouth and smiled a little. “Come on,” she said. “I don’t need some special once-a-year day to tell you I love you. Right?” James nodded begrudgingly and Natasha fought the urge to lean up and kiss him again. “I love you,” she said reassuringly. “I love you today. I love you tomorrow. I love you yesterday.”

“I love you, too,” James said in a quiet, thoughtful way, and Natasha smiled at him and began to get comfortable again, turning and yawning and closing her eyes.

“We’ve both been up too long,” she said and she felt him behind her begin to sink back down to the mattress and relax. “Try to sleep.”

“Okay,” James said and Natasha closed her eyes and matched the rhythm of her breathing to his.

And she clung to this, this sudden and unexpected simple happiness. It had become rare.