Dreamy Marriage | NaLu

Desperation

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Lucy's P.O.V

I can't believe it.

Was I so blinded by my pity for him that I forgot what kind of person he actually is?

When the hell did he text this person? Why would he even do that in the first place?

Even after I told him that I'd want to be friends, after I tried to comfort him, after I gave in to my pride and slept next to him the whole night!

Even after I sang the song my mom taught me to him!

Did he all take that just to smash it on the ground like it was nothing?

Did he take me for granted?

Were all the things he had said to me lies?

Was there ever a time where he told me the truth?

No.

I've come back to reality again.

He is not someone I should let in my life ever again.

He is not someone I should cry for.

He is the worst.

I knew it back then and I know it now.

I'll never trust him again, I'll never be kind to him again and I'll never ever let my heart beat faster for him again.

As I quickly got up from the bed, not caring if I was waking him up or not, I wiped the still-flowing tears away and rushed out of his room.

I balled my hands into fists and bit my lip, thinking about my stupid hormones or feelings or whatever they were.

The fact that I was feeling much more disappointed and sad now than I was after my dad slapped me, was everything but not right.

I finally reached my bedroom and shut the door.

It was still raining as if buckets full of water were poured down on the country, pretty loud but not loud enough for him to wake up yet.

I don't worry anymore.

He's not even afraid for real, so what do I have to worry about?

If he wakes up, the only thing he'll meet with is my cold shoulder and me ignoring him for good.

I don't know how I'm supposed to live with him for 24/7 hours until the storm goes away.

Will I be able to ignore him for so long?

I'm certain that this time I will not give in again.

I will not soften up again.

He always made fun of me, made fun of the poor in general and I've always tried to prove him wrong by bringing him into my world, to see how things were done here.

Yet here I am.

The only thing I proved to him was that he was right, that poor people are easily to manipulate, that we're stupid, that we're fools.

I hopped into the fancy shower with the intention of scrubbing off all the shame.

later

When I had finished showering, I dried myself, put some cream on and did everything else such as brushing my teeth, brushing my hair, blow drying my hair....