The s(ex) tapes

12

Cari POV:

"I've got an idea. Hear me out here ShanBee" I said, after just hopping off a zoom call with my managers and some producers, discussing my next album.

"i'm all ears"

"After we broke up i kinda wrote a few songs, our breakup was kind of musical inspiration for me if you wish, and i also have a few songs that i have never released, and i was talking to my team and we all think i should release an album that is basically all about our breakup." i said, kind of squinting, as i didn't know how she would react.

"all about our breakup huh. sounds interesting, can i hear the songs?" shannon said intriguingly.

"not all of them are finished but i can show you snippets of some of them if you want."

"yeah, i'd love to hear them". shannon said, shooting me a smile.

i got out my laptop and played her parts of a few different songs, they still had to be sent of and edited and finalised, but most of them were 95% complete.

"i really really like them, Cari, they're all incredibly good, i'm so proud of you" a feeling of relief left my body as shanbee said that.

"so you're not mad i wrote songs about us? and want to release them to the world?" 

"not so much mad, just glad i could be of inspiration to you. but it will be weird, the whole world will know these are about me, it will be like us confirming our relationship through announcing our breakup"

Shannon's voice started to go quiet and she slightly tailed off towards the end of what she was saying. I could tell she was getting a bit upset, but i didn't know what to do, so i didn't mention it.

"there is another thing..." i said hesitantly whilst shan nodded at me

"i really want to make the music videos, and i want you to film and direct them, and i want you to be in one of them, and i want to do it here in quarantine"

"woah, a lot of 'i wants' in there. so what, you want me to shoot, direct and co-star in my ex girlfriend's music videos for an album that is about me, whilst we are broken up yet still quarantining together"

"now that you say it out loud, it does sound stupid, your right, maybe not" i said, realising what i had just asked.

"no, no, no, you know i support you in everything you do, and i only want the best for you and your career, so if that mean's this album, then i'm all in, i think it will be fun, i love you" shannon said with a reassuring tone.

She came in for the biggest hug and i could sense her excitement for some reason. to be honest, shanbee is just happy that she is behind a camera.

i reported back to my team that Shannon was on board, and then it was all systems go. Shannon and I had to get to brainstorming, we had 7 music videos to plan whilst my songs were being finalised. i had a few ideas in my head, but nothing really with substance. 

We were also very restricted with resources, and Shannon only had a few cameras to work with. this was going to be an interesting experience.

shannon POV:

it's currently about 2am and i can't sleep. 

Why did i agree to this album, maybe it was the wrong decision. I wanted to keep this relationship private, i mean, all the fans have joined the dots, but we have never confirmed it. i don't think i'm ready for public breakup number two.

i decided to go downstairs to get some water and sat on the couch without waking Cari. i needed to figure out what i was thinking.

Does this mean we are really over? what if i'm not ready for that. where does this leave our relationship now.

so many thoughts were filling my head that i just didnt know what to think. we haven't even started making the videos yet and i'm already overthinking, i just need to chill.

i finished my water and headed back upstairs to Cari, who was still fast asleep and hadn't noticed i was gone - good.